Because it is in the thriving’st calling,
The only Saints-bell that rings all in;
In which all churches are concern’d, 1225
And is the easiest to be learn’d: 
For no degrees, unless th’ employ’t,
Can ever gain much, or enjoy’t: 
A gift that is not only able
To domineer among the rabble, 1230
But by the laws impower’d to rout,
And awe the greatest that stand out;
Which few hold forth against, for fear
Their hands should slip, and come too near;
For no sin else among the Saints 1235
Is taught so tenderly against.

What made thee break thy plighted vows? —­
That which makes others break a house,
And hang, and scorn ye all, before
Endure the plague of being poor. 1240

Quoth he, I see you have more tricks
Than all your doating politicks,
That are grown old, and out of fashion,
Compar’d with your New Reformation;
That we must come to school to you, 1245
To learn your more refin’d, and new.

Quoth he, If you will give me leave
To tell you what I now perceive,
You’ll find yourself an arrant chouse,
If y’ were but at a Meeting-House. —­ 1250
’Tis true, quoth he, we ne’er come there,
Because, w’ have let ’em out by th’ year.

Truly, quoth he, you can’t imagine
What wond’rous things they will engage in
That as your fellow-fiends in Hell 1255
Were angels all before they fell,
So are you like to be agen,
Compar’d with th’ angels of us men.

Quoth he, I am resolv’d to be
Thy scholar in this mystery; 1260
And therefore first desire to know
Some principles on which you go.

What makes a knave a child of God,
And one of us? —­ A livelihood. 
What renders beating out of brains, 1265
And murder, godliness? —­ Great gains.

What’s tender conscience? —­ ’Tis a botch,
That will not bear the gentlest touch;
But breaking out, dispatches more
Than th’ epidemical’st plague-sore. 1270

What makes y’ encroach upon our trade,
And damn all others? —­ To be paid.

What’s orthodox, and true, believing
Against a conscience? —­ A good living.

What makes rebelling against Kings 1275
A Good Old Cause? —­ Administrings.

What makes all doctrines plain and clear? —­
About two hundred pounds a year.

And that which was prov’d true before,
Prove false again? —­ Two hundred more. 1280

What makes the breaking of all oaths
A holy duty? —­ Food and cloaths.

What laws and freedom, persecution? —­
B’ing out of pow’r, and contribution.