Saunders was slow of speech when in company, and bashful to a degree.  He was accustomed to make up his mind what he would say before venturing within the range of the sharp tongue of his well-beloved—­an excellent plan, but one which requires for success both self-possession and a good memory.  But for lack of these Saunders had made an excellent courtier.

Saunders made his toilet in the little stable of the manse above which he slept.  As he scrubbed himself he kept up a constant sibilant hissing, as though he were an equine of doubtful steadiness with whom the hostler behooved to be careful.  First he carefully removed the dirt down to a kind of Plimsoll load-line midway his neck; then he frothed the soap-suds into his red rectangular ears, which stood out like speaking trumpets; there he let it remain.  Soap is for putting on the face, grease on the hair.  It is folly then to wash either off.  Besides being wasteful.  His flaxen hair stood out in wet strands and clammy tags and tails.  All the while Saunders kept muttering to himself: 

“An’ says I to her:  ‘Meg Kissock, ye’re a bonny woman,’ says I.  ’My certie, but ye hae e’en like spunkies [will-o’-the-wisps] or maybes,” said Saunders in a meditative tone.  “I had better say ‘like whurlies in a sky-licht.’  It micht be considered mair lovin’ like!”

“Then she’ll up an’ say:  ‘Saunders, ye mak’ me fair ashamed to listen to ye.  Be mensefu’ [polite], can ye no?’”

This pleased Saunders so much that he slapped his thigh so that the pony started and clattered to the other side of his stall.

“Then I’ll up an’ tak’ her roun’ the waist, an’ I’ll look at her like this—­” (here Saunders practised the effect of his fascinations in the glass, a panorama which was to some extent marred by the necessary opening of his mouth to enable the razor he was using to excavate the bristles out of the professional creases in his lower jaw.  Saunders pulled down his mouth to express extra grief when a five-foot grave had been ordered.  His seven-foot manifestations of respect for the deceased were a sight to see.  He held the opinion that anybody that had no more ’conceit o’ themsel’’ [were so much left to themselves] than to be buried in a three-foot grave, did not deserve to be mourned at all.  This crease, then, was one of Saunders’s assets, and had therefore to be carefully attended to.  Even love must not interfere with it.)

“Sae after that, I shall tak’ her roun’ the waist, juist like this—­” said he, insinuating his left arm circumferentially.  It was an ill-judged movement, for, instead of circling Meg Kissock’s waist, he extended his arm round the off hindleg of Birsie, the minister’s pony, who had become a trifle short tempered in his old age.  Now it was upon that very leg and at that very place that, earlier in the day, a large buzzing horse-fly had temporarily settled.  Birsie was in no condition, therefore, for argument upon the subject.  So with the greatest readiness he struck straight out behind and took Saunders what he himself called a “dinnle on the elbuck.”  Nor was this all, for the razor suddenly levered upwards by Birsie’s hoof added another and entirely unprofessional wrinkle to his face.