“Gentlemen of the jury,” said Bill, “the case before you is one aboundin’ in horror and amazement.  Persons of the lowest morals has disguised themselves in pot-hats in order to decoy a Puddin’ of tender years from his lawful guardians.  It is related in the archives of the Noble Order of Puddin’-Owners that previous to this dastardly attempt a valuable bag, the property of Sir Benjimen Brandysnap, had been stolen and the said Puddin’-owners invited to look at a present inside it.  The said bag was then pulled over their heads, compellin’ the Puddin’-owners aforesaid to endure agonies of partial suffocation, let alone walkin’ on each others corns for several hours.  Had not Sir Benjimen, the noble owner, appeared like a guardian angel and undone the bag, it is doubtful if Sir Samuel Sawnoff’s corns could have stood the strain much longer, his groans bein’ such as would have brought tears to the eyes of a hard-boiled egg.”

“A very moving story,” said the Constable, and the Mayor was so affected that the Constable had to stuff a banana into his mouth to prevent him bursting into tears.

“I now propose to call Sir Benjimen Brandysnap as first witness for the prosecution,” said Bill.  “Kindly step into the witness-box, Sir Benjimen, and relate the circumstances ensuin’ on your bag bein’ stole.”

Benjimen stepped into the box and, taking a piece of paper from his egg basket, said solemnly:  “I was very busy that morning, Gentlemen of the jury, owing to the activity of the vegetables, as hereunder described: 

“On Tuesday morn, as it happened by chance,
  The parsnips stormed in a rage,
Because the young carrots were singing like parrots
  On top of the onions’ cage.

“The radishes swarmed on the angry air
  Around with the bumble bees,
While the brussels-sprouts were pulling the snouts
  Of all the young French peas.

“The artichokes bounded up and down
  On top of the pumpkins’ heads,
And the cabbage was dancing the highland fling
  All over the onion beds.

“So I hadn’t much time, as Your Honour perceives,
  For watching the habits of puddin’thieves.”

“Tut, tut, Sir Benjimen,” said Bill, “stir up your memory, sir; cast your eye over them felons in the dock, and tell the Court how you seen them steal the bag.”

“The fact is,” said Benjimen, after studying the puddin’-thieves carefully, “as they had their backs turned to me when they were engaged in stealing the bag, I should be able to judge better if they were turned round.”

“Officer,” said Bill to Bunyip Bluegum, “Kindly turn the felons’ backs to the witness.”

The Possum and the Wombat objected, saying there wasn’t room enough in the witness-box to turn round, so it was found necessary to twist their snouts the opposite way.

“From this aspect,” said Ben, “I have no hesitation in saying that those are the backs that stole the bags.”