“I can’t help that,” cried the Mayor, angrily. “At all costs I must be protected from danger. Do your duty and arrest this felon with your hat.”
The Constable looked around, gasped, and, summoning all his courage, scooped up the Puddin’ in his hat.
“My word,” he said, breathlessly, “but that was a narrow squeak. I expected every moment to be my last.”
“Now we breathe more freely,” said the Mayor, and led the way to the Tooraloo Court House.
“If this isn’t too bad,” said Bill, furiously. “Here we’ve had all the worry and trouble of fightin’ puddin’-thieves night and day, and, on top of it all, here’s this Tooralooral tadpole of a Mayor shovin’ his nose into the business and arrestin’ our Puddin’ without rhyme or reason.”
As they had arrived at the Court House at that moment, Bill was forced to smother his resentment for the time being. There was nobody in Court except the Judge and the Usher, who were seated on the bench having a quiet game of cards over a bottle of port.
“Order in the Court,” shouted the Usher, as they all came crowding in; and the Judge, seeing the Constable carrying the Puddin’ in his hat, said severely:
“This won’t do, you know; it’s Contempt of Court, bringing your lunch here.”
“An’ it please you, My Lord,” said the Constable hurriedly, “this here Puddin’ has been arrested for pinching the Mayor.”
“As a consequence of which, I see you’ve pinched the Puddin’,” said the Judge facetiously. “Dear me, what spirits I am in to-day, to be sure!”
“The felon has an aroma most dangerously suggestive of beef gravy,” said the Usher, solemnly.
“Beef gravy?” said the Judge. “Now, it seems to me that the aroma is much more subtly suggestive of steak and kidney.”
“Garnished, I think, with onions,” said the Usher.
“In order to settle this knotty point, just hand the felon up here a moment,” said the Judge. “I don’t suppose you’ve got a knife about you?” he asked.
“I’ve got a paper-knife,” said the Usher; and, the Puddin’ having been handed up to the bench, the Judge and the Usher cut a slice each, and had another glass of port.
Bill was naturally enraged at seeing total strangers eating Puddin’owners’ private property, and he called out loudly:
“Common justice and the lawful rights of Puddin’-owners.”
“Silence in the Court while the Judge is eating,” shouted the Usher; and the Judge said severely:
“I really think you ought
To see I’m taking food,
So, Silence in the Court!
(I’m also taking port),
If you intrude, in manner rude,
A lesson you’ll be taught.”
“An’ it please Your Lordship,” said the Mayor, pointing to Bill, “this person is a brutal assaulter of people wearing top-hats.”
“No insults,” said Bill, and he gave the Mayor a slap in the face.
The Mayor went as pale as cheese, and the Usher called out: “No face-slapping while the Judge is dining!” and the Judge said, angrily: