Joe took a deep breath. “Why do you want me?”
“Dot,” replied the brewer, “iss someding I shall tell you.” He paused to contemplate his cigar. “We want you bickoss you are der best man fer dot positsion.”
“Louie, you mustn’t make a mistake at the beginning,” Joe said, hurriedly. “I may not be the kind of man you’re looking for. If I went in—” He hesitated, stammering. “It seems an ungrateful thing to say, but—but there wouldn’t be any slackness—I couldn’t be bound to anybody—”
“Holt up your hosses!” Mr. Farbach, once in his life, was so ready to reply that he was able to interrupt. “Who hef you heert speak off bounding? Hef I speakt off favors? Dit I say der shoult be slackness in der city gofer’ment? Litsen to me, Choe.” He renewed his contemplation of his cigar, then proceeded: “I hef been t’inkin’ it ofer, now a couple years. I hef mate up my mind. If some peobles are gombelt to keep der laws and oders are not, dot’s a great atwantitch to der oders. Dot iss what iss ruining der gountry und der peobles iss commencement to take notice. Efer’veres in oder towns der iss housecleaning; dey are reforming und indieding, und pooty soon dot mofement comes here—shoo-er! If we intent to holt der parsly in power, we shoult be a leetle ahead off dot mofement so, when it shoult be here, we hef a goot ’minadstration to fall beck on. Now, dere iss anoder brewery opened und trying to gombete mit me here in Canaan. If dot brewery owns der Mayor, all der tsaloons buying my bier must shut up at ’leven o’glock und Sundays, but der oders keep open. If I own der Mayor, I make der same against dot oder brewery. Now I am pooty sick off dot ways off bitsness und fighting all times. Also,” Mr. Farbach added, with magnificent calmness, “my trade iss larchly owitside off Canaan, und it iss bedder dot here der laws shoult be enforced der same fer all. Litsen, Choe; all us here beliefs der same way. You are square. Der whole tsaloon element knows dot, und knows dot all voult be treated der same. Mit you it voult be fairness fer each one. Foolish peobles hef sait you are a law-tricker, but we know dot you hef only mate der laws brotect as well as bunish. Und at such times as dey het been broken, you hef made dem as mertsiful as you coult. You are no tricker. We are willing to help you make it a glean town. Odervise der fightin’ voult go on until der mofement strikes here und all der granks vake up und we git a fool reformer fer Mayor und der town goes to der dogs. If I try to put in a man dot I own, der oder brewery iss goin’ to fight like hell, but if I work fer you it will not fight so hart.”
“But the other people,” Joe objected, “those outside of what is called the saloon element—do you understand how many of them will be against me?”
“It iss der tsaloon element,” Mr. Farbach returned, peacefully, “dot does der fightin’.”
“And you have considered my standing with that part of Canaan which considers itself the most respectable section?” He rose to his feet, standing straight and quiet, facing the table, upon which, it chanced, there lay a copy of the Tocsin.