BEATRICE:
Ay, death...
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The punishment of crime. I pray thee, God,
Let me not be bewildered while I judge.
If I must live day after day, and keep
These limbs, the unworthy temple of Thy spirit,
As a foul den from which what Thou abhorrest
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May mock Thee, unavenged...it shall not be!
Self-murder...no, that might be no escape,
For Thy decree yawns like a Hell between
Our will and it:—O! In this mortal
world
There is no vindication and no law
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Which can adjudge and execute the doom
Of that through which I suffer.
[ENTER ORSINO.]
[SHE APPROACHES HIM SOLEMNLY.]
Welcome, Friend!
I have to tell you that, since last we met,
I have endured a wrong so great and strange,
That neither life nor death can give me rest.
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Ask me not what it is, for there are deeds
Which have no form, sufferings which have no tongue.
NOTE:
140 nor edition 1821; or editions 1819, 1839 (1st).
ORSINO:
And what is he who has thus injured you?
BEATRICE:
The man they call my father: a dread name.
ORSINO:
It cannot be...
BEATRICE:
What it can be, or not,
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Forbear to think. It is, and it has been;
Advise me how it shall not be again.
I thought to die; but a religious awe
Restrains me, and the dread lest death itself
Might be no refuge from the consciousness
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Of what is yet unexpiated. Oh, speak!
ORSINO:
Accuse him of the deed, and let the law
Avenge thee.
BEATRICE:
Oh, ice-hearted counsellor!
If I could find a word that might make known
The crime of my destroyer; and that done,
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My tongue should like a knife tear out the secret
Which cankers my heart’s core; ay, lay all bare,
So that my unpolluted fame should be
With vilest gossips a stale mouthed story;
A mock, a byword, an astonishment:—
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If this were done, which never shall be done,
Think of the offender’s gold, his dreaded hate,
And the strange horror of the accuser’s tale,
Baffling belief, and overpowering speech;
Scarce whispered, unimaginable, wrapped
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In hideous hints...Oh, most assured redress!
ORSINO:
You will endure it then?
BEATRICE:
Endure!—Orsino,
It seems your counsel is small profit.
[TURNS FROM HIM, AND SPEAKS HALF TO HERSELF.]
Ay,
All must be suddenly resolved and done.
What is this undistinguishable mist
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Of thoughts, which rise, like shadow after shadow,
Darkening each other?