and a brilliance of language that was little short of marvellous.  So naturally it was a little disappointing at first to find that these people just went on talking to one another and didn’t listen to Uncle William at all, or merely looked at him in an inquisitive sort of way and whispered remarks to one another.  But presently, I don’t just know how, Uncle began to get the attention of the table and one after the other the people stopped talking to listen to him.  I was very glad of this because Uncle was talking about America and I was sure that it would interest them, as what he said was very much the same as the wonderful speech that he made to the American residents of Berlin at the time when the first exchange professor was sent over to the University.  I remember that all the Americans who heard it said that Uncle told them things about their own country that they had never known, or even suspected, before.  So I was glad when I heard Uncle explaining to these people the wonderful possibilities of their country.  He talked of the great plains of Connecticut and the huge seaports of Pittsburg and Colorado Springs, and the tobacco forests of Idaho till one could just see it all.  He said that the Mississippi, which is a great river here as large as the Weser, should be dammed back and held while a war of extermination was carried on against the Indians on the other side of it with a view to Christianizing them.  The people listened, their faces flushed with eating and with the close air.  Here and there some of them laughed or nudged one another and said, “Get on to this, will you?” But I remember that when Uncle William made this speech in Berlin the Turkish ambassador said after it that he now knew so much about America that he wanted to die, and that the Shah of Persia wrote a letter to Uncle, all in his own writing, except the longest words, and said that he had ordered Uncle’s speech on America to be printed and read aloud by all the schoolmasters in Persia under penalty of decapitation.  Nearly all of them read it.

Wednesday

This morning we had a great disappointment.  It had been pretty well arranged on board the ship that Uncle would take over the presidency of Harvard University.  Uncle Henry and Cousin Ferdinand and Cousin Willie had all consented to it, and we looked upon it as done.  Now it seems there is a mistake.  First of all Harvard University is not in New York, as we had always thought in Germany that it was.  I remember that when Uncle Henry came home from his great tour in America, in which he studied American institutions so profoundly, and made his report he said that Harvard University was in New York.  Uncle had this information filed away in our Secret Service Department.

But it seems that it is somewhere else.  The University here is called Columbia, so Uncle decided that he would be president of that.  In the old days all the great men of learning used to assure Uncle that if fate had not made him an emperor he would have been better fitted than any living man to be the head of a great university.  Uncle admitted this himself, though he resented being compared only to the living ones.