The last line of this can be changed to suit the particular case.  It can just as easily read, at the end, “Here is Henry Edward Eastwood,” or, “Here is Hal McGiverin, Junior,” or anything else.  All names fit the sense.  That, in fact, was the wonderful art of Longfellow—­the sense being independent of the words.

The Platform Introduction

Here is a form of introduction cruelly familiar to those who know it.  It is used by the sour-looking villain facetiously called in newspaper reports the “genial chairman” of the meeting.  While he is saying it the victim in his little chair on the platform is a target for the eyes of a thousand people who are wondering why he wears odd socks.

“The next speaker, ladies and gentlemen, is one who needs no introduction to this gathering.  His name” (here the chairman consults a little card) “is one that has become a household word.  His achievements in” (here the chairman looks at his card again, studies it, turns it upside down and adds) “in many directions are familiar to all of you.”  There is a feeble attempt at applause and the chairman then lifts his hand and says in a plain business-like tone—­“Will those of the audience who are leaving kindly step as lightly as possible.”  He is about to sit down, but then adds as a pleasant afterthought for the speaker to brood over—­“I may say, while I am on my feet, that next week our society is to have a real treat in hearing—­et cetera and so forth—­”

II—­HOW TO OPEN A CONVERSATION

After the ceremony of introduction is completed the next thing to consider is the proper way to open a conversation.  The beginning of conversation is really the hardest part.  It is the social equivalent to “going over the top.”  It may best be studied in the setting and surroundings of the Evening Reception, where people stand upright and agonise, balancing a dish of ice-cream.  Here conversation reaches its highest pitch of social importance.  One must talk or die.  Something may be done to stave it off a little by vigorous eating.  But the food at such affairs is limited.  There comes a point when it is absolutely necessary to say something.

The beginning, as I say, is the hardest problem.  Other communities solve it better than we do.

The Chinese System

In China conversation, between strangers after introduction, is always opened by the question, “And how old are you?” This strikes me as singularly apt and sensible.  Here is the one thing that is common ground between any two people, high or low, rich or poor—­how far are you on your pilgrimage in life?

The Penetentiary Method

Compare with the Chinese method the grim, but very significant formula that is employed (I believe it is a literal fact) in the exercise yards of the American penitentiaries.  “What have you brought?” asks the San Quentin or Sing Sing convict of the new arrival, meaning, “And how long is your sentence?” There is the same human touch about this, the same common ground of interest, as in the Chinese formula.