“Angelina!” he exclaimed, raising himself to one knee with his hands outstretched toward her.  The girl started as at the sound of an air bomb; for a moment she elevated her eyes and looked him full in the tangent, then she lowered them again but continued to observe him through her mental periscope.

“Angelina,” he repeated, “I have a declaration to make.”

“As from what date?” she questioned quietly.  Edwin drew his watch from his pocket.

“As from this morning, at ten-forty-six,” he said.  Then, emboldened by her passive attitude, he continued with rising passion in his tone.

“Ever since I first met you I have felt that I could not live without you.  I am a changed man.  My calibre is altered.  I feel ten centimeters wider in the mouth than I did six weeks ago.  I feel that my path is altered.  I have a new range and an angle of elevation such as I never experienced before.  I have hidden my love as best I could till now.  I have worn a moral gas-mask before your family.  I can do so no longer.  Angelina, will you be mine, forming with me a single unit, drawing our rations from the same field kitchen and occupying the same divisional headquarters?”

The girl seemed to hesitate.  She raised her eyes to his.

“We know one another so little,” she murmured.

Edwin felt that his offensive was failing.  He therefore hastened to bring up his means of support.

“I have an ample income of my own,” he pleaded.

Angelina raised her eyes again.  It was evident that she was about to surrender.  But at this moment her mother’s voice was heard calling, “Angelina, Angelina, my dear, where are you?”

The barrage had broken down.

“Quick,” said the girl, “mobilize yourself.  Pick up that tennis racket and let us hurry to the court and dig ourselves in.”

“But my declaration,” urged Edwin eagerly.

“Accepted,” she said, “as from eleven-two this morning.”

V.—­Other Impossibilities

1.—­The Art of Conversation

I—­HOW TO INTRODUCE TWO PEOPLE TO ONE ANOTHER

Nothing is more important in introducing two people to each other than to employ a fitting form of words.  The more usually recognized forms are easily learned and committed to memory and may be utilized as occasion requires.  I pass over such rudimentary formulas as “Ed, shake hands with Jim Taylor,” or, “Boys, this is Pete, the new hand; Pete, get hold of the end of that cant-hook.”  In fact, we are speaking only of polite society as graced by the fair sex, the only kind that we need care about.

The Third Avenue Procedure

A very neat and convenient form is that in vogue in Third Avenue circles, New York, as, for instance, at a fifty-cents-a-head dance (ladies free) in the hall of the Royal Knights of Benevolence.