“I found myself now to be the very centre of the awful conflict.  While not stating that the whole bombardment was directed at me personally, I am pretty sure that it was.”

I admit that there was a time, at the very beginning of the war, when I liked this kind of thing served up with my bacon and eggs every morning, in the days when a man could eat bacon and eggs without being labelled a pro-German.  Later on I came to prefer the simple statements as to the same scene and event, given out by Sir Douglas Haig and General Pershing—­after this fashion: 

“Last night at ten-thirty P.M. our men noticed signs of a light bombardment apparently coming from the German lines.”

III—­THE TECHNICAL WAR DESPATCHES

The best of these, as I remember them, used to come from the Italian front and were done after this fashion:—­

“Tintino, near Trombono.  Friday, April 3.  The Germans, as I foresaw last month they would, have crossed the Piave in considerable force.  Their position, as I said it would be, is now very strong.  The mountains bordering the valley run—­just as I foresaw they would—­from northwest to southeast.  The country in front is, as I anticipated, flat.  Venice is, as I assured my readers it would be, about thirty miles distant from the Piave, which falls, as I expected it would, into the Adriatic.”

IV—­THE WAR PROPHECIES

Startling Prophecy in Paris.  All Paris is wildly excited over the extraordinary prophecy of Madame Cleo de Clichy that the war will be over in four weeks.  Madame Cleo, who is now as widely known as a diseuse, a liseuse, a friseuse and a clairvoyante, leaped into sudden prominence last November by her startling announcement that the seven letters in the Kaiser’s name W i l h e l m represented the seven great beasts of the apocalypse; in the next month she electrified all Paris by her disclosure that the four letters of the word C z a r—­by substituting the figure 1 for C, 9 for Z, 1 for A, and 7 for R produce the date 1917, and indicated a revolution in Russia.  The salon of Madame Cleo is besieged by eager crowds night and day.  She may prophesy again at any minute.

Startling Forecast.  A Russian peasant, living in Semipalatinsk, has foretold that the war will end in August.  The wildest excitement prevails not only in Semipalatinsk but in the whole of it.

Extraordinary Prophecy.  Rumbumbabad, India.  April 1.  The whole neighbourhood has been thrown into a turmoil by the prophecy of Ram Slim, a Yogi of this district, who has foretold that the war will be at an end in September.  People are pouring into Rumbumbabad in ox-carts from all directions.  Business in Rumbumbabad is at a standstill.

Excitement in Midgeville, Ohio.  William Bessemer Jones, a retired farmer of Cuyahoga, Ohio, has foretold that the war will end in October.  People are flocking into Midgeville in lumber wagons from all parts of the country.  Jones, who bases his prophecy on the Bible, had hitherto been thought to be half-witted.  This is now recognised to have been a wrong estimate of his powers.  Business in Midgeville is at a standstill.