didn’t stop f’r us, because th’ Flannigans bought a pianny, because we was near run over be a mail wagon, because th’ saloons are open Sundah night, because they’re not open all day, an’ because we’re tired seein’ th’ same face at th’ window whin we go down to pay th’ wather taxes.  Th’ rayformer don’t know this.  He thinks you an’ me, Hinnissy, has been watchin’ his spotless career f’r twinty years, that we’ve read all he had to say on th’ evils iv pop’lar sufferage befure th’ Society f’r the Bewildermint iv th’ Poor, an’ that we’re achin’ in ivry joint to have him dhrag us be th’ hair iv th’ head fr’m th’ flowin’ bowl an’ th’ short card game, make good citizens iv us an’ sind us to th’ pinitinchry.  So th’ minyit he gets into th’ job he begins a furyous attimpt to convart us into what we’ve been thryin’ not to be iver since we come into th’ wurruld.

“In th’ coorse iv th’ twinty years that he spint attimptin’ to get office, he managed to poke a few warrum laws conthrollin’ th’ pleasures iv th’ poor into th’ stachoo book, because no wan cared about thim or because they made business betther f’r th’ polis, an’ whin he’s in office, he calls up th’ Cap’n iv the polis an’ says he:  ‘If these laws ar-re bad laws th’ way to end thim is to enfoorce thim.’  Somebody told him that, Hinnissy.  It isn’t thrue, d’ye mind.  I don’t care who said it, not if ’twas Willum Shakespere.  It isn’t thrue.  Laws ar-re made to throuble people an’ th’ more throuble they make th’ longer they stay on th’ stachoo book.  But th’ polis don’t ast anny questions.  Says they:  ’They’ll be less money in th’ job but we need some recreation,’ an’ that night a big copper comes down th’ sthreet, sees me settin’ out on th’ front stoop with me countenance dhraped with a tin pail, fans me with his club an’ runs me in.  Th’ woman nex’ dure is locked up f’r sthringin’ a clothes line on th’ roof, Hannigan’s boy Tim gets tin days f’r keepin’ a goat, th’ polis resarves are called out to protict th’ vested rights iv property against th’ haynyous pushcart man, th’ stations is crowded with felons charged with maintainin’ a hose conthrary to th’ stachoos made an’ provided, an’ th’ tindherline is all over town.  A rayformer don’t think annything has been accomplished if they’se a vacant bedroom in th’ pinitinchry.  His motto is ‘Arrest that man.’

“Whin a rayformer is ilicted he promises ye a business administhration.  Some people want that but I don’t.  Th’ American business man is too fly.  He’s all right, d’ye mind.  I don’t say annything again’ him.  He is what Hogan calls th’ boolwarks iv pro-gress, an’ we cudden’t get on without him even if his scales are a little too quick on th’ dhrop.  But he ought to be left to dale with his akels.  ‘Tis a shame to give him a place where he can put th’ comether on millions iv people that has had no business thrainin’ beyond occasionally handin’ a piece iv debased money to a car conductor on a cold day.  A reg’lar pollytician can’t give away an alley without