“But with a woman ‘tis diff’rent.  Th’ man puts down on’y part iv th’ bet.  Whin he’s had enough iv th’ convarsation that in Union Park undher th’ threes med him think he was talkin’ with an intellechool joyntess, all he has to do is to put on his coat, grab up his dinner pail an’ go down to th’ shops, to be happy though marrid.  But a woman, I tell ye, bets all she has.  A man don’t have to marry but a woman does.  Ol’ maids an’ clargymen do th’ most good in th’ wurruld an’ we love thim f’r th’ good they do.  But people, especially women, don’t want to be loved that way.  They want to he loved because people can’t help lovin’ thim no matther how bad they are.  Th’ story books that ye give ye’er daughter Honoria all tell her ’tis just as good not to be marrid.  She reads about how kind Dorothy was to Lulu’s childher an’ she knows Dorothy was th’ betther woman, but she wants to be Lulu.  Her heart, an’ a cold look in th’ eye iv th’ wurruld an’ her Ma tell her to hurry up.  Arly in life she looks f’r th’ man iv her choice in th’ tennis records; later she reads th’ news fr’m th’ militia encampmint; thin she studies th’ socyal raygisther; further on she makes hersilf familyar with Bradsthreets’ rayports, an’ fin’lly she watches th’ place where life presarvers are hangin’.

“Now, what kind iv a man ought a woman to marry?  She oughtn’t to marry a young man because she’ll grow old quicker thin he will; she oughtn’t to marry an old man because he’ll be much older befure he’s younger; she oughtn’t to marry a poor man because he may become rich an’ lose her; she oughtn’t to marry a rich man because if he becomes poor, she can’t lose him; she oughtn’t to marry a man that knows more thin she does, because he’ll niver fail to show it, an’ she oughtn’t to marry a man that knows less because he may niver catch up.  But above all things she mustn’t marry a janius.  A flure-walker, perhaps; a janius niver.

“I tell ye this because I’ve been r-readin’ a book Hogan give me, about th’ divvle’s own time a janius had with his fam’ly.  A cap iv industhry may have throuble in his fam’ly till there isn’t a whole piece iv chiny in th’ cupboard, an’ no wan will be the wiser f’r it but th’ hired girl an’ th’ doctor that paints th’ black eye.  But ivrybody knows what happens in a janius’ house.  Th’ janius always tells th’ bartinder.  Besides he has other janiuses callin’ on him, an’ ‘tis th’ business iv a janius to write about th’ domestic throubles iv other janiuses so posterity’ll know what a hard thing it is to be a janius.  I’ve been readin’ this book iv Hogan’s an’ as I tell ye, ‘tis about th’ misery a wretched woman inflicted on a pote’s life.