HELL.

1.  Hell is a city much like London—­ A populous and a smoky city; There are all sorts of people undone, And there is little or no fun done; 150 Small justice shown, and still less pity.

2.  There is a Castles, and a Canning, A Cobbett, and a Castlereagh; All sorts of caitiff corpses planning All sorts of cozening for trepanning 155 Corpses less corrupt than they.

3.  There is a ***, who has lost His wits, or sold them, none knows which; He walks about a double ghost, And though as thin as Fraud almost—­ 160 Ever grows more grim and rich.

4.  There is a Chancery Court; a King; A manufacturing mob; a set Of thieves who by themselves are sent Similar thieves to represent; 165 An army; and a public debt.

5.  Which last is a scheme of paper money, And means—­being interpreted—­ ’Bees, keep your wax—­give us the honey, And we will plant, while skies are sunny, 170 Flowers, which in winter serve instead.’

6.  There is a great talk of revolution—­ And a great chance of despotism—­ German soldiers—­camps—­confusion—­ Tumults—­lotteries—­rage—­delusion—­ 175 Gin—­suicide—­and methodism;

7.  Taxes too, on wine and bread, And meat, and beer, and tea, and cheese, From which those patriots pure are fed, Who gorge before they reel to bed 180 The tenfold essence of all these.

8.  There are mincing women, mewing, (Like cats, who amant misere,) Of their own virtue, and pursuing Their gentler sisters to that ruin, 185 Without which—­what were chastity?

9.  Lawyers—­judges—­old hobnobbers Are there—­bailiffs—­chancellors—­ Bishops—­great and little robbers—­ Rhymesters—­pamphleteers—­stock-jobbers—­ 190 Men of glory in the wars,—­

10.  Things whose trade is, over ladies To lean, and flirt, and stare, and simper, Till all that is divine in woman Grows cruel, courteous, smooth, inhuman, 195 Crucified ’twixt a smile and whimper.

11.  Thrusting, toiling, wailing, moiling, Frowning, preaching—­such a riot!  Each with never-ceasing labour, Whilst he thinks he cheats his neighbour, 200 Cheating his own heart of quiet.

12.  And all these meet at levees;—­ Dinners convivial and political;—­ Suppers of epic poets;—­teas, Where small talk dies in agonies;—­ 205 Breakfasts professional and critical;

13.  Lunches and snacks so aldermanic That one would furnish forth ten dinners, Where reigns a Cretan-tongued panic, Lest news Russ, Dutch,