life with Manon?  Why did I not marry her before I obtained any concession from her love?  Would not my father, who had the tenderest regard for me, have given his consent, if I had taken the fair and candid course of soliciting him?  Yes, my father would himself have cherished her as one far too good to be his son’s wife!  I should have been happy in the love of Manon, in the affection of my father, in the esteem of the world, with a moderate portion of the good things of life, and above all with the consciousness of virtue.  Disastrous change!  Into what an infamous character is it here proposed that I should sink?  To share——­ But can I hesitate, if Manon herself suggests it, and if I am to lose her except upon such conditions? `Lescaut,’ said I, putting my hands to my eyes as if to shut out such a horrifying vision, `if your intention was to render me a service, I give you thanks.  You might perhaps have struck out a more reputable course, but it is so settled, is it not?  Let us then only think of profiting by your labour, and fulfilling your engagements.’

“Lescaut, who had been considerably embarrassed, not only by my fury, but by the long silence which followed it, was too happy to see me now take a course so different from what he had anticipated.  He had not a particle of courage, of which indeed I have, in the sequel of my story, abundant proof. `Yes, yes,’ he quickly answered, `it is good service I have rendered you, and you will find that we shall derive infinitely more advantage from it than you now expect.’  We consulted then as to the best mode of preventing the suspicions which G——­ M——­ might entertain of our relationship, when he found me older and of riper manhood than he probably imagined.  The only plan we could hit upon was to assume in his presence an innocent and provincial air, and to persuade him that it was my intention to enter the Church, and that with that view I was obliged to go every day to the college.  We also determined that I should appear as awkward as I possibly could the first time I was admitted to the honour of an introduction.

“He returned to town three or four days after, and at once conducted Manon to the house which his steward had in the meantime prepared.  She immediately apprised Lescaut of her return, and he having informed me, we went together to her new abode.  The old lover had already gone out.

“In spite of the submission with which I had resigned myself to her wishes, I could not, at our meeting, repress the compunctious visitings of my conscience.  I appeared before her grieved and dejected.  The joy I felt at seeing her once more could not altogether dispel my sorrow for her infidelity:  she, on the contrary, appeared transported with the pleasure of seeing me.  She accused me of coldness.  I could not help muttering the words perfidious and unfaithful, though they were profusely mixed with sighs.