fellow, fears the stump accomplishments of his antagonist, and has secured the valuable services of philosopher Scranton.  Mr. S. will tell the constituency, in very logical phraseology,—­making the language suit the sentiments of his friends,—­what principles must be maintained; how the General depends upon the soundness of their judgment to sustain him; how they are the bone and sinews of the great political power of the South; how their hard, uncontrastable appearance, and their garments of similar primitiveness, are emblematic of the iron firmness of their democracy.  Mr. Scranton will further assure them that their democracy is founded on that very accommodating sort of freedom which will be sure to keep all persons of doubtful colour in slavery.

Mr. Scranton arrives, receives the congratulations of his friends, gets the negroes to brush him down,—­for it is difficult to distinguish him from a pillar of dust, save that we have his modest eyes for assurances-takes a few glasses of moderate mixture, and coolly collects his ideas.  The mixture will bring out Mr. Scranton’s philosophical facts:  and, now that he has got his face and beard cleanly washed, he will proceed to the stand.  Here he is received with loud cheering; the gentleman is a great man, all the way from the city.  Sitting on a chair he is sorry was made at the north, he exhibits a deal of method in taking from his pocket a long cedar pencil, with which he will make notes of all Colonel Mohpany’s loose points.

The reader, we feel assured, will excuse us for not following Colonel Mohpany through his speech, so laudatory of the patriotism of his friends, so much interrupted by applause.  The warm manner in which his conclusion is received assures him that he now is the most popular man in the State.  Mr. Scranton, armed with his usually melancholy countenance, rises to the stump, makes his modestly political bow, offers many impressive apologies for the unprepared state in which he finds himself, informs his hearers that he appears before them only as a substitute for his very intimate and particular friend, General Vardant.  He, too, has a wonderful prolixity of compliments to bestow upon the free, the patriotic, the independent voters of the very independent district.  He tries to be facetious; but his temperament will not admit of any inconsistencies, not even in a political contest.  No! he must be serious; because the election of a candidate to so high an office is a serious affair.  So he will tell the “Saw-pit men” a great deal about their noble sires; how they lived and died for liberty; how the tombstones of immortality are emblazoned with the fame of their glorious deeds.  And he will tell these glorious squatters what inalienable rights they possess; how they must be maintained; and how they have always been first to maintain the principle of keeping “niggers” in their places, and resisting those mischievous propagators of northern villainy-abolitionists.  He will tell the deep-thinking