Some philosophers have devoted time and thought to tracing backwards all our emotions to their primal origin; and it is undoubtedly true that in the intensest and most passionate relationships of life—­the love of a man for a woman, or a mother for a child—­there is a large admixture of something physical, instinctive, and primal.  But the fact also remains that there are unnumbered relationships between all sorts of apparently incongruous persons, of which the basis is not physical desire, or the protective instinct, and is not built up upon any hope of gain or profit whatsoever.  All sorts of qualities may lend a hand to strengthen and increase and confirm these bonds; but what lies at the base of all is simply a sort of vital congeniality.  The friend is the person whom one is in need of, and by whom one is needed.  Life is a sweeter, stronger, fuller, more gracious thing for the friend’s existence, whether he be near or far:  if the friend is close at hand, that is best; but if he is far away, he is still there, to think of, to wonder about, to hear from, to write to, to share life and experience with, to serve, to honour, to admire, to love.  But again it is a mistake to think that one makes a friend because of his or her qualities; it has nothing to do with qualities at all.  If the friend has noble qualities, we admire them because they are his; if he has obviously bad and even noxious faults, how readily we condone them or overlook them!  It is the person that we want, not what he does or says, or does not do or say, but what he is:  that is eternally enough.

Of course, it does sometimes happen that we think we have made a friend, and on closer acquaintance we find things in him that are alien to our very being; but even so, such a friendship often survives, if we have given our heart, or if affection has been bestowed upon us—­affection which we cannot doubt.  Some of the richest friendships of all are friendships between people whose whole view of life is sharply contrasted; and then what blessed energy can be employed in defending one’s friend, in explaining him to other people, in minimising faults, in emphasising virtues!  “While the thunder lasted,” says the old Indian proverb, “two bad men were friends.”  That means that a common danger will sometimes draw even malevolent people together.  But, for most of us, the only essential thing to friendship is a kind of mutual trust and confidence.  It does not even shake our faith to know that our friend may play other people false:  we feel by a kind of secret instinct that he will not play us false; and even if it be proved incontestably that he has played us false, why, we believe that he will not do so again, and we have all the pleasure of forgiveness.