desolation, saw the ladder whose golden head was set
at the very foot of God, thronged with bright messengers
of strength and hope. And again it was in the
familiar homestead, with every corner rich in gentle
memories, that the spirit of terror turned the bitter
stream of anguish, as from the vent of some thunderous
cloud, upon the sad head of Job. We may turn
a corner in life, and be confronted perhaps with an
uncertain shape of grief and despair, whom we would
fain banish from our shuddering sight, perhaps with
some solemn form of heavenly radiance, whom we may
feel reluctant in our unworthiness to entertain.
But in either case, such times as those, when we wrestle
all night with the angel, not knowing if he wishes
us well or ill, ignorant of his name and his mien alike,
are better than hours spent in indolent contentment,
in the realisation of our placid and petty designs.
For, after all, it is the quality rather than the
quantity of our experience that matters; it is easy
enough to recognise that, when we are working light-heartedly
and eagerly at some brave design, and seeing the seed
we plant springing up all about us in fertile rows
in the garden of God. But what of those days
when our lot seems only to endure, when we can neither
scheme nor execute, when the old volubility and vitality
desert us, and our one care is just to make our dreary
presence as little of a burden and a shadow as possible
to those whom we love? We must then remind ourselves,
not once or twice, that nothing can separate us from
the Father of all, even though our own wilfulness
and perversity may have drawn about us a cloud of sorrow.
We are perhaps most in God’s mind when we seem
most withdrawn from Him. He is nearer us when
we seek for Him and cannot find Him, than when we
forget Him in laughter and self-pleasing. And
we must remember too that it is neither faithful nor
fruitful to abide wilfully in sadness, to clasp our
cares close, to luxuriate in them. There is a
beautiful story of Mrs. Charles Kingsley, who long
survived her husband. Never perhaps had two souls
been united by so close a bond of chivalry and devotion.
“Whenever I find myself thinking too much about
Charles,” she said in the days of her grief,
“I find and read the most sensational novel
I can. People may think it heartless, but hearts
were given us to love with, not to break.”
And we must deal with our sorrows as we deal with
any other gift of God, courageously and temperately,
not faint-heartedly or wilfully; not otherwise can
they be blest to us. We must not pettishly reject
consolation and distraction. Pain is a great angel,
but we must wrestle with him, until he bless us! and
the blessings he can bring us are first a wholesome
shame at our old selfish ingratitude in the untroubled
days, when we took care and pleasure greedily; and
next, if we meet him faithfully, he can make our heart
go out to all our brothers and sisters who suffer
in this brief and troubled life of ours. For
we are here to learn something, if we can but spell
it out; and thus it is morbid to indulge regrets and
remorse too much over our failures and mistakes; for
it is through them that we learn. We must be
as brave as we can, and dare to grudge no pang that
brings us nearer to the reality of things.