Of course I know that there cannot be omelettes without breaking eggs; and I suppose that there cannot be what are called psychological novels, without violating confidences.  But you cannot be surprised, when you encourage an old friend to trust you and confide in you, and then draw an ugly caricature of him in a book, if he thinks the worse of you in consequence.  I hear that the book is a great success; you must be content with the fact that the yolks are as golden as they are.  Please do not write to me again on the subject.  I will try to forget it, and if I succeed, I will let you know.

Yours ——­

That is the kind of letter that poisons life for a while.  While I am aware that I meant no treachery, I am none the less aware that I have contrived to be a traitor.  Of course one vows one will never write another line; but I do not suppose I shall keep the vow.  I reply shortly, eating all the dirt I can collect; and I shall try to forget it too; though it is a shabby end of an old friendship.

Then I turn to the reviews.  I find them gracious, respectful, laudatory.  They are to be taken cum grano, of course.  When an enthusiastic reviewer says that I have passed at one stride into the very first class of contemporary writers, I do not feel particularly elated, though I am undeniably pleased.  I find my conception, my structure, my style, my descriptions, my character-drawing, liberally and generously praised.  There is no doubt that the book has been really successful beyond my wildest hopes.  If I were in any doubt, the crop of letters from editors and publishers asking me for articles and books of every kind, and offering me incredible terms, would convince me.

Now what do I honestly feel about all this?  I will try for my own benefit to say.  Of course I am very much pleased, but the odd thing is that I am not more pleased.  I can say quite unaffectedly that it does not turn my head in the least.  I reflect that if this had happened when I began to write, I should have been beside myself with delight, full of self-confidence, blown out with wind, like the fog in the fable.  Even now there is a deep satisfaction in having done what one has tried to do.  But instead of raking in the credit, I am more inclined to be grateful for my good fortune.  I feel as if I had found something valuable rather than made something beautiful; as if I had stumbled on a nugget of gold or a pearl of price.  I am very fatalistic about writing; one is given a certain thing to say, and the power to say it; it does not come by effort, but by a pleasant felicity.  After all, I reflect, the book is only a good story, well told.  I do not feel like a benefactor of the human race, but at the best like a skilful minstrel, who has given some innocent pleasure.  What, after all, does it amount to?  I have touched to life, perhaps a few gracious, tender, romantic fancies—­but, after all, the thoughts and emotions were there to