in some cases it proceeds, I think, from a hysterical
desire to be thought interesting, with a faint hope,
I fear, of being possibly put into a book. Some
of the letters have been simply unintelligible and
inconceivable on any hypothesis, except for the human
instinct to confess, to bare the heart, to display
the secret sorrow. Many of these letters are
intensely pathetic, affecting, heart-rending; an invalid
lady writes to say that she would like to know me,
and will I come to the North of England to see her?
A man writes a pretentious letter, to ask me to go
and stay with him for a week. He has nothing to
offer, he says, but plain fare and rather cramped quarters;
but he has thought deeply, he adds, on many of the
problems on which I touch, and thinks that he could
throw light upon some of them. Imagine what reserves
of interest and wisdom he must consider that he possesses!
Then there are patronising letters from people who
say that I have put into words thoughts which they
have always had, and which they never took the trouble
to write down; then there are requests for autographs,
and “sentiments,” and suggestions for new
books. A man writes to say that I could do untold
good if I would write a book with a purpose, and ventures
to propose that I should take up anti-vivisection.
There are a few letters worth their weight in gold,
from good men and true, writers and critics, who thank
me for a book which fulfils its aim and artistic purpose,
while on the other hand there are some from people
who find fault with my book for not doing what I never
even attempted to do. Here is one that has given
me deep and unmitigated pain; it is from an old friend,
who, I am told, is aggrieved because he thinks that
I have put him into my book, in the form of an unpleasant
character. The worst of it is that there is enough
truth in it to make it difficult for me to deny it.
My character is, in some superficial ways, habits,
and tricks of speech, like Reginald. Well, on
hearing what he felt, I wrote him a letter of apology
for my carelessness and thoughtlessness, saying, as
frankly as I could, that the character was not in
any way drawn from him, but that I undoubtedly had,
almost unconsciously, taken an external trait or two
from him; adding that I was truly and heartily sorry,
and hoped that there would be no ill-feeling; and
that I valued his friendship even more than he probably
imagined. Here is his reply:
MY DEAR F——,
—If you spit on the head of a man passing
in the street, and then write to him a few days after
to say that all is forgiven, and that you are sorry
your aim was so accurate, you don’t mend matters.
You express a hope that after what has occurred there
may be no ill-feeling between us. Well, you have
done me what I consider an injury. I have no
desire to repay it; if I had a chance of doing you
a good turn, I should do it; if I heard you abused,
I should stick up for you. I have no intention
of making a grievance out of it. But if you ask
me to say that I do not feel a sense of wrong, or
to express a wish to meet you, or to trust you any
longer as I have hitherto trusted you, I must decline
saying anything of the kind, because it would not
be true.