he does not express it, and though he would not take
any trouble to secure it. What centuries of trained
instincts must have gone to produce this. The
new order has given me a great deal more of Maggie’s
society. We are sent out in the afternoon, because
Maud likes to be quite alone to receive the neighbours,
small and great, that come to see her, now that she
cannot go to see them. She tells me frankly that
my presence only embarrasses them. And thus another
joy has come to me, one of the most beautiful things
that has ever happened to me in my life, and which
I can hardly find words to express—the
contact with, the free sight of the mind and soul of
an absolutely pure, simple and ingenuous girl.
Maggie’s mind has opened like a flower.
She talks to me with perfect openness of all she feels
and thinks; to walk thus, hour by hour, with my child’s
arm through my own, her wide-opened, beautiful eyes
looking in mine, her light step beside me, with all
her pretty caressing ways—it seems to me
a taste of the purest and sweetest love I have ever
felt. It is like the rapture of a lover, but
without any shadow of the desirous element that mingles
so fiercely and thirstily with our mortal loves, to
find myself dear to her. I have a poignant hunger
of the heart to save her from any touch of pain, to
smooth her path for her, to surround her with beauty
and sweetness. I did not guess that the world
held any love quite like this; there seems no touch
of selfishness about it; my love lavishes itself, asking
for nothing in return, except that I may be dear to
her as she to me.
Her fancies, her hopes, her dreams—how
inexplicable, how adorable! She said to me to-day
that she could never marry, and that it was a real
pity that she could not have children of her own without.
“We don’t want any one else, do we, except
just some little children to amuse us.”
She is a highly imaginative child, and one of our
amusements is to tell each other long, interminable
tales of the adventures of a family we call the Pickfords.
I have lost all count of their names and ages, their
comings and goings; but Maggie never makes a mistake
about them, and they seem to her like real people;
and when I sometimes plunge them into disaster, she
is so deeply affected that the disasters have all
to be softly repaired. The Pickfords must have
had a very happy life; the kind of life that people
created and watched over by a tender, patient and detailed
Providence might live. How different from the
real world!
But I don’t want Maggie to live in the real
world yet awhile. It will all come pouring in
upon her, sorrow, anxiety, weariness, no doubt—alas
that it should be so! Perhaps some people would
blame me, would say that more discipline would be
bracing, wholesome, preparatory. But I don’t
believe that. I had far rather that she learnt
that life was tender, gentle and sweet—and
then if she has to face trouble, she will have the
strength of feeling that the tenderness, gentleness