of enchantment for me, a golden haze of memory.
I was allowed a freedom there I was allowed nowhere
else, I was petted and made much of, and I used to
spend most of my time in sauntering about, just looking,
watching, scrutinising things, with the hard and uncritical
observation of childhood. When I got to the place,
I was surprised to find that I knew well the look
of the house I went to see, though I had not ever
entered it. Two neat, contented, slightly absurd
old maiden ladies had lived there, who used to walk
out together, dressed exactly alike in some faded
fashion. The laurels and yews still grew thickly
in the shrubbery, and shaded the windows of the ugly
little parlours. An old, quiet, respectable maid
showed me round; she had been in service there for
twenty years, and she was tearfully lamenting over
the break-up of the home. The old ladies had
lived there for sixty years. One of them had died
ten years before, the other had lingered on to extreme
old age. The house was like a museum, a specimen
of a house of the thirties, in which nothing had ever
been touched or changed. The strange wall-papers
and chintzes, the crewel-work chairs, the mirrors,
the light maple furniture, the case of moth-eaten
humming-birds, the dull engravings of historical pictures,
the old books—the drawing-room table was
covered with annuals and keepsakes, Moore’s poems,
Mrs. Barbauld’s works—all had a pathetic
ugliness, redeemed by a certain consistency of quality.
And then the poky, comfortable arrangements, the bath-chair
in the coach-house, the four-post bedsteads, the hand-rail
on the stairs, the sandbags for the doors, all spoke
of a timid, invalid life, a dim backwater in the tide
of things. There had been children there at some
time, for there were broken toys, collections of dried
plants, curious stones, in an attic. The little
drama of the house shaped itself for me, as I walked
through the frowsy, faded rooms, with a touching insistence.
This bedroom had never been used since Miss Eleanor
died—and I could fancy the poor, little,
timid, precise life flitting away among the well-known
surroundings. This had been Miss Jackson’s
favourite room—it was so quiet—she
had died there, sitting in her chair, a few weeks
before. The leisurely, harmless routine of the
quiet household rose before me. I could imagine
Miss Jackson writing her letters, reading her book,
eating her small meals, making the same humble and
grateful remarks, entertaining her old friends.
Year after year it had gone on, just the same, the
clock ticking loud in the hall, the sun creeping round
the old rooms, the birds singing in the garden, the
faint footsteps in the road. It had begun, that
gentle routine, long before I had been born into the
world; and it was strange to me to think that, as I
passed through the most stirring experiences of my
life, nothing ever stirred or moved or altered here.
Miss Jackson had felt Miss Eleanor’s death very
much; she had hardly ever left the house since, and