“Oh how wicked!”

“Mind what you say.  Dexterity is the only virtue left in England; so we must be on our guard, especially in what we write with our name attached.”

“I must say, Mr. Bazalgette, you are unwise to put such a sum of money into a young girl’s hands.”

“The young girl has been a woman an hour and ten minutes, and come into her property, movables, and cash aforesaid.”

“If you were her real friend, you would take care of her money for her till she marries.”

“The eighth commandment, my dear, the eighth commandment, and other primitive axioms:  suum cuique, and such odd sayings:  ’Him as keeps what isn’t hisn, soon or late shall go to prison,’ with similar apothegms.  Total:  let us keep the British merchant and the Newgate thief as distinct as the times permit.  Fountain and Bazalgette, account squared, books closed, and I’m off!”

“Oh, uncle, pray stay!” said Lucy.  “When you are by me, Rectitude and Sense seem present in person, and I can lean on them.”

“Lean on yourself; the law has cut your leading-strings.  Why patch ’em?  It has made you a woman from a baby.  Rise to your new rank.  Rectitude and Sense are just as much wanted in the town of ——­, where I am due, as they are in this house.  Besides, Sense has spoken uninterrupted for ten minutes; prodigious! so now it is Nonsense’s turn for the next ten hours.”  He made for the door; then suddenly returning, said:  “I will leave a grain of sense, etc., behind me.  What is marriage?  Do you give it up?  Marriage is a contract.  Who are the parties? the papas and mammas, uncles and aunts?  By George, you would think so to hear them talk.  No, the contract is between two parties, and these two only.  It is a printed contract.  Anybody can read it gratis.  None but idiots sign a contract without reading it; none but knaves sign a contract which, having read, they find they cannot execute.  Matrimony is a mercantile affair; very well, then, import into it sound mercantile morality.  Go to market; sell well; but, d—­n it all, deliver the merchandise as per sample, viz., a woman warranted to love, honor and obey the purchaser.  If you swindle the other contracting party in the essentials of the contract, don’t complain when you are unhappy.  Are shufflers entitled to happiness? and what are those who shuffle and prevaricate in a church any better than those who shuffle and prevaricate in a counting-house?” and the brute bolted.

“My husband is a worthy man,” said Mrs. Bazalgette, languidly, “but now and then he makes me blush for him.”

“Our good friend is a humorist,” replied Fountain, good-humoredly, “and dearly loves a paradox”; and they pooh-poohed him without a particle of malice.

Then Mrs. Bazalgette turned to Lucy, and hoped that she did her the justice to believe she had none but affectionate motives in wishing to see her speedily established.