flattering atmosphere of her sympathy. He could
not conceal from himself that his divided life was
somewhat like Charles Lamb’s, and there were
times when, as he had expressed to Fulkerson, he believed
that its division was favorable to the freshness of
his interest in literature. It certainly kept
it a high privilege, a sacred refuge. Now and
then he wrote something, and got it printed after
long delays, and when they met on the St. Lawrence
Fulkerson had some of March’s verses in his pocket-book,
which he had cut out of astray newspaper and carried
about for years, because they pleased his fancy so
much; they formed an immediate bond of union between
the men when their authorship was traced and owned,
and this gave a pretty color of romance to their acquaintance.
But, for the most part, March was satisfied to read.
He was proud of reading critically, and he kept in
the current of literary interests and controversies.
It all seemed to him, and to his wife at second-hand,
very meritorious; he could not help contrasting his
life and its inner elegance with that of other men
who had no such resources. He thought that he
was not arrogant about it, because he did full justice
to the good qualities of those other people; he congratulated
himself upon the democratic instincts which enabled
him to do this; and neither he nor his wife supposed
that they were selfish persons. On the contrary,
they were very sympathetic; there was no good cause
that they did not wish well; they had a generous scorn
of all kinds of narrow-heartedness; if it had ever
come into their way to sacrifice themselves for others,
they thought they would have done so, but they never
asked why it had not come in their way. They were
very gentle and kind, even when most elusive; and
they taught their children to loathe all manner of
social cruelty. March was of so watchful a conscience
in some respects that he denied himself the pensive
pleasure of lapsing into the melancholy of unfulfilled
aspirations; but he did not see that, if he had abandoned
them, it had been for what he held dearer; generally
he felt as if he had turned from them with a high,
altruistic aim. The practical expression of his
life was that it was enough to provide well for his
family; to have cultivated tastes, and to gratify them
to the extent of his means; to be rather distinguished,
even in the simplification of his desires. He
believed, and his wife believed, that if the time
ever came when he really wished to make a sacrifice
to the fulfilment of the aspirations so long postponed,
she would be ready to join with heart and hand.
When he went to her room from his library, where she
left him the whole evening with the children, he found
her before the glass thoughtfully removing the first
dismantling pin from her back hair.
“I can’t help feeling,” she grieved
into the mirror, “that it’s I who keep
you from accepting that offer. I know it is!
I could go West with you, or into a new country—anywhere;
but New York terrifies me. I don’t like
New York, I never did; it disheartens and distracts
me; I can’t find myself in it; I shouldn’t
know how to shop. I know I’m foolish and
narrow and provincial,” she went on, “but
I could never have any inner quiet in New York; I
couldn’t live in the spirit there. I suppose
people do. It can’t be that all these millions—’