The Small House at Allington eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 972 pages of information about The Small House at Allington.

The Small House at Allington eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 972 pages of information about The Small House at Allington.

“But the wolf hasn’t gnawed me beneath my clothes; everybody knows it.”

“Then let those who do know it learn that you are able to bear such wounds without outward complaint.  I tell you fairly that I cannot sympathise with a lackadaisical lover.”

“I know that I have made myself ridiculous to everybody.  I wish I had never come here.  I wish you had never seen me.”

“Don’t say that, my dear boy; but take my advice for what it is worth.  And remember what it is that I say; with your grief I do sympathise, but not with any outward expression of it;—­not with melancholy looks, and a sad voice, and an unhappy gait.  A man should always be able to drink his wine and seem to enjoy it.  If he can’t, he is so much less of a man than he would be otherwise,—­not so much more, as some people seem to think.  Now get yourself dressed, my dear fellow, and come down to dinner as though nothing had happened to you.”

As soon as the earl was gone John looked at his watch and saw that it still wanted some forty minutes to dinner.  Fifteen minutes would suffice for him to dress, and therefore there was time sufficient for him to seat himself in his arm-chair and think over it all.  He had for a moment been very angry when his friend had told him that he could not sympathise with a lackadaisical lover.  It was an ill-natured word.  He felt it to be so when he heard it, and so he continued to think during the whole of the half-hour that he sat in that chair.  But it probably did him more good than any word that the earl had ever spoken to him,—­or any other word that he could have used.  “Lackadaisical!  I’m not lackadaisical,” he said to himself, jumping up from his chair, and instantly sitting down again.  “I didn’t say anything to him.  I didn’t tell him.  Why did he come to me?” And yet, though he endeavoured to abuse Lord De Guest in his thoughts, he knew that Lord De Guest was right, and that he was wrong.  He knew that he had been lackadaisical, and was ashamed of himself; and at once resolved that he would henceforth demean himself as though no calamity had happened to him.  “I’ve a good mind to take him at his word, and drink wine till I’m drunk.”  Then he strove to get up his courage by a song.

   If she be not fair for me,
   What care I how—­

“But I do care.  What stuff it is a man writing poetry and putting into it such lies as that!  Everybody knows that he did care,—­that is, if he wasn’t a heartless beast.”

But nevertheless, when the time came for him to go down into the drawing-room he did make the effort which his friend had counselled, and walked into the room with less of that hang-dog look than the earl and Lady Julia had expected.  They were both there, as was also the squire, and Bell followed him in less than a minute.

“You haven’t seen Crofts to-day, John, have you?” said the earl.

“No; I haven’t been anywhere his way!”

“His way!  His ways are every way, I take it.  I wanted him to come and dine, but he seemed to think it improper to eat two dinners in the same house two days running.  Isn’t that his theory, Miss Dale?”

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The Small House at Allington from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.