At half-past seven he found himself at Sebright’s, and there he dined.  A man will dine, even though his heart be breaking.  Then he got into a cab, and had himself taken home to Mount Street.  During his walk he had sworn to himself that he would not go to bed that night till the letter was written and posted.  It was twelve before the first words were marked on the paper, and yet he kept his oath.  Between two and three, in the cold moonlight, he crawled out and deposited his letter in the nearest post-office.

CHAPTER XXIX

John Eames Returns to Burton Crescent

John Eames and Crosbie returned to town on the same day.  It will be remembered how Eames had assisted Lord De Guest in the matter of the bull, and how great had been the earl’s gratitude on the occasion.  The memory of this, and the strong encouragement which he received from his mother and sister for having made such a friend by his gallantry, lent some slight satisfaction to his last hours at home.  But his two misfortunes were too serious to allow of anything like real happiness.  He was leaving Lily behind him, engaged to be married to a man whom he hated, and he was returning to Burton Crescent, where he would have to face Amelia Roper,—­Amelia either in her rage or in her love.  The prospect of Amelia in her rage was very terrible to him; but his greatest fear was of Amelia in her love.  He had in his letter declined matrimony; but what if she talked down all his objections, and carried him off to church in spite of himself!

When he reached London and got into a cab with his portmanteau, he could hardly fetch up courage to bid the man drive him to Burton Crescent.  “I might as well go to an hotel for the night,” he said to himself, “and then I can learn how things are going on from Cradell at the office.”  Nevertheless, he did give the direction to Burton Crescent, and when it was once given felt ashamed to change it.  But, as he was driven up to the well-known door, his heart was so low within him that he might almost be said to have lost it.  When the cabman demanded whether he should knock, he could not answer; and when the maid-servant at the door greeted him, he almost ran away.

“Who’s at home?” said he, asking the question in a very low voice.

“There’s missus,” said the girl, “and Miss Spruce, and Mrs Lupex.  He’s away somewhere, in his tantrums again; and there’s Mr—­”

“Is Miss Roper here?” he said, still whispering.

“Oh, yes!  Miss Mealyer’s here,” said the girl, speaking in a cruelly loud voice.  “She was in the dining-room just now, putting out the table.  Miss Mealyer!” And the girl, as she called out the name, opened the dining-room door.  Johnny Eames felt that his knees were too weak to support him.