The chief of these amiable persons was the Marchioness of Tiptoff, mother of the young gentleman whose audacity I had punished at Dublin.  This old harridan, on the Countess’s first arrival in London, waited upon her, and favoured her with such a storm of abuse for her encouragement of me, that I do believe she advanced my cause more than six months’ courtship could have done, or the pinking of a half-dozen of rivals.  It was in vain that poor Lady Lyndon pleaded her entire innocence and vowed she had never encouraged me.  ’Never encouraged him!’ screamed out the old fury; ’didn’t you encourage the wretch at Spa, during Sir Charles’s own life?  Didn’t you marry a dependant of yours to one of this profligate’s bankrupt cousins?  When he set off for England, didn’t you follow him like a mad woman the very next day?  Didn’t he take lodgings at your very door almost—­ and do you call this no encouragement?  For shame, madam, shame!  You might have married my son—­my dear and noble George; but that he did not choose to interfere with your shameful passion for the beggarly upstart whom you caused to assassinate him; and the only counsel I have to give your Ladyship is this, to legitimatise the ties which you have contracted with this shameless adventurer; to make that connection legal which, real as it is now, is against both decency and religion; and to spare your family and your son the shame of your present line of life.’

With this the old fury of a marchioness left the room, and Lady Lyndon in tears:  I had the whole particulars of the conversation from her Ladyship’s companion, and augured the best result from it in my favour.

Thus, by the sage influence of my Lady Tiptoff, the Countess of Lyndon’s natural friends and family were kept from her society.  Even when Lady Lyndon went to Court the most august lady in the realm received her with such marked coldness, that the unfortunate widow came home and took to her bed with vexation.  And thus I may say that Royalty itself became an agent in advancing my suit, and helping the plans of the poor Irish soldier of fortune.  So it is that Fate works with agents, great and small; and by means over which they have no control the destinies of men and women are accomplished.

I shall always consider the conduct of Mrs. Bridget (Lady Lyndon’s favourite maid at this juncture) as a masterpiece of ingenuity:  and, indeed, had such an opinion of her diplomatic skill, that the very instant I became master of the Lyndon estates, and paid her the promised sum—­I am a man of honour, and rather than not keep my word with the woman, I raised the money of the Jews, at an exorbitant interest—­as soon, I say, as I achieved my triumph, I took Mrs. Bridget by the hand, and said, “Madam, you have shown such unexampled fidelity in my service that I am glad to reward you, according to my promise; but you have given proofs of such extraordinary cleverness and dissimulation, that I must decline keeping you in Lady Lyndon’s establishment, and beg you will leave it this very day:”  which she did, and went over to the Tiptoff faction, and has abused me ever since.