frequented by the best English then at the Spa, on the second Sunday she condescended to look at me; on the third she was pleased to reply to my profound bow by a curtsey; the next day I followed up the acquaintance by another obeisance in the public walk; and, to make a long story short, her Ladyship and I were in full correspondence on transubstantiation before six weeks were over.  My Lady came to the aid of her chaplain; and then I began to see the prodigious weight of his arguments:  as was to be expected.  The progress of this harmless little intrigue need not be detailed.  I make no doubt every one of my readers has practised similar stratagems when a fair lady was in the case.

I shall never forget the astonishment of Sir Charles Lyndon when, on one summer evening, as he was issuing out to the play-table in his sedan-chair, according to his wont, her Ladyship’s barouche and four, with her outriders in the tawny livery of the Lyndon family, came driving into the courtyard of the house which they inhabited; and in that carriage, by her Ladyship’s side, sat no other than the ‘vulgar Irish adventurer,’ as she was pleased to call him:  I mean Redmond Barry, Esquire.  He made the most courtly of his bows, and grinned and waved his hat in as graceful a manner as the gout permitted; and her Ladyship and I replied to the salutation with the utmost politeness and elegance on our parts.

I could not go to the play-table for some time afterwards for Lady Lyndon and I had an argument on transubstantiation, which lasted for three hours; in which she was, as usual, victorious, and, in which her companion, the Honourable Miss Flint Skinner, fell asleep; but when, at last, I joined Sir Charles at the casino, he received me with a yell of laughter, as his wont was, and introduced me to all the company as Lady Lyndon’s interesting young convert.  This was his way.  He laughed and sneered at everything.  He laughed when he was in a paroxysm of pain; he laughed when he won money, or when he lost it:  his laugh was not jovial or agreeable, but rather painful and sardonic.

‘Gentlemen,’ said he to Punter, Colonel Loder, Count du Carreau, and several jovial fellows with whom he used to discuss a flask of champagne and a Rhenish trout or two after play, ’see this amiable youth!  He has been troubled by religious scruples, and has flown for refuge to my chaplain, Mr. Runt, who has asked for advice from my wife, Lady Lyndon; and, between them both, they are confirming my ingenious young friend in his faith.  Did you ever hear of such doctors, and such a disciple?’

‘’Faith, sir,’ said I, ’if I want to learn good principles, it’s surely better I should apply for them to your lady and your chaplain than to you!’

‘He wants to step into my shoes!’ continued the knight.

‘The man would be happy who did so,’ responded I, ’provided there were no chalk-stones included!’ At which reply Sir Charles was not very well pleased, and went on with increased rancour.  He was always free-spoken in his cups; and, to say the truth, he was in his cups many more times in a week than his doctors allowed.