Born in Exile eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 595 pages of information about Born in Exile.

Born in Exile eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 595 pages of information about Born in Exile.

‘I could apply that to the classes above them.’

’Well, I can’t.  But I am quite ready to admit that there are all sorts of inconsistencies in me.  Now, the other day I was reading Burns, and I couldn’t describe what exaltation all at once possessed me in the thought that a ploughman had so glorified a servant-girl that together they shine in the highest heaven, far above all the monarchs of earth.  This came upon me with a rush—­a very rare emotion.  Wasn’t that democratic?’

He inquired dubiously, and Earwaker for a moment had no reply but his familiar ‘M—­m—­m!’

‘No, it was not democratic,’ the journalist decided at length; ’it was pride of intellect.’

’Think so?  Then look here.  If it happens that a whining wretch stops me in the street to beg, what do you suppose is my feeling?  I am ashamed in the sense of my own prosperity.  I can’t look him in the face.  If I yielded to my natural impulse, I should cry out, “Strike me! spit at me! show you hate me!—­anything but that terrible humiliation of yourself before me!” That’s howl feel.  The abasement of which he isn’t sensible affects me on his behalf.  I give money with what delicacy I can.  If I am obliged to refuse, I mutter apologies and hurry away with burning cheeks.  What does that mean?’

Earwaker regarded him curiously.

‘That is mere fineness of humanity.’

‘Perhaps moral weakness?’

’I don’t care for the scalpel of the pessimist.  Let us give it the better name.’

Peak had never been so communicative.  His progress in composition these last evenings seemed to have raised his spirits and spurred the activity of his mind.  With a look of pleasure he pursued his self-analysis.

’Special antipathies—­sometimes explicable enough—­influence me very widely.  Now, I by no means hate all orders of uneducated people.  A hedger, a fisherman, a country mason,—­people of that kind I rather like to talk with.  I could live a good deal with them.  But the London vulgar I abominate, root and branch.  The mere sound of their voices nauseates me; their vilely grotesque accent and pronunciation—­bah!  I could write a paper to show that they are essentially the basest of English mortals.  Unhappily, I know so much about them.  If I saw the probability of my dying in a London lodging-house, I would go out into the sweet-scented fields and there kill myself.’

Earwaker understood much by this avowal, and wondered whether his friend desired him so to do.

‘Well, I can’t say that I have any affection for the race,’ he replied.  ’I certainly believe that, socially and politically, there is less hope of them than of the lower orders in any other part of England.’

‘They are damned by the beastly conditions of their life!’ cried Godwin, excitedly.  ’I don’t mean only the slum-denizens.  All, all Hammersmith as much as St. George’s-in-the-East.  I must write about this; I must indeed.’

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Born in Exile from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.