Born in Exile eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 595 pages of information about Born in Exile.

Born in Exile eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 595 pages of information about Born in Exile.

Earwaker began to appreciate the dangers of the situation.  If he insisted upon his view of Mrs. Jacox’s behaviour (though it was not the harshest that the circumstances suggested, for he was disposed to believe that the widow had really lost her heart to her kind, eccentric champion), the result would probably be to confirm Malkin in his resolution of self-sacrifice.  The man must be saved, if possible, from such calamity, and this would not be effected by merely demonstrating that he was on the highroad to ruin.  It was necessary to try another tack.

‘It seems to me, Malkin,’ he resumed, gravely, ’that it is you who are deficient in right feeling.  In offering to marry this poor woman, you did her the gravest wrong.’

‘What?  How?’

’You know that it is impossible for you to love her.  You know that you will repent, and that she will be aware of it.  You are not the kind of man to conceal your emotions.  Bella will grow up, and—­ well, the state of things won’t tend to domestic felicity.  For Mrs Jacox’s own sake, it is your duty to put an end to this folly before it has gone too far.’

The other gave earnest ear, but with no sign of shaken conviction.

‘Yes,’ he said.  ’I know this is one way of looking at it.  But it assumes that a man can’t control himself, that his sense of honour isn’t t strong enough to keep him in the right way.  I don’t think you quite understand me.  I am not a passionate man; the proof is that I have never fallen in love since I was sixteen.  I think a great deal of domestic peace, a good deal more than of romantic enthusiasm.  If I marry Mrs. Jacox, I shall make her a good and faithful husband,—­so much I can safely say of myself.’

He waited, but Earwaker was not ready with a rejoinder.

’And there’s another point.  I have always admitted the defect of my character—­an inability to settle down.  Now, if I run away to New Zealand, with the sense of having dishonoured myself, I shall be a mere Wandering Jew for the rest of my life.  All hope of redemption will be over.  Of the two courses now open to me, that of marriage with Mrs. Jacox is decidedly the less disadvantageous.  Granting that I have made a fool of myself, I must abide by the result, and make the best of it.  And the plain fact is, I can’t treat her so disgracefully; I can’t burden my conscience in this way.  I believe it would end in suicide; I do, indeed.’

‘This sounds all very well, but it is weakness and selfishness.’

‘How can you say so?’

’There’s no proving to so short-sighted a man the result of his mistaken course.  I’ve a good mind to let you have your way just for the satisfaction of saying afterwards, “Didn’t I tell you so?” You propose to behave with abominable injustice to two people, putting yourself aside.  Doesn’t it occur to you that Bella may already look upon you as her future husband?  Haven’t you done your best to plant that idea in her mind?’

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Born in Exile from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.