’How I wish we had known each other ever since that day when your brother brought me to your house near Kingsmill!  If we had met and talked through all those years!  But that was impossible for the very reason which makes me inarticulate now that I wish to say so much.  When you first saw me I was a gawky schoolboy, learning to use my brains, and knowing already that life had nothing to offer me but a false position.  Whether I remained with my kith and kin, or turned my back upon them in the hope of finding my equals, I was condemned to a life of miserable incompleteness.  I was born in exile.  It took a long time before I had taught myself how to move and speak like one of the class to which I belonged by right of intellect.  I was living alone in London, in mean lodging-houses.  But the day came when I felt more confidence in myself.  I had saved money, and foresaw that in a year or two I should be able to carry out a plan, make one serious attempt to win a position among educated people.’

He stopped.  Had he intended a full confession, it was thus he might have begun it.  Sidwell was regarding him, but with a gentle look, utterly unsuspecting.  She was unable to realise his character and his temptations.

‘And have you not succeeded?’ she asked, in a low voice.

’Have I?  Let me put it to the test.  I will set aside every thought of presumption; forget that lam a penniless student looking forward to a country curacy; and say what I wished to when we had our last conversation.  Never mind how it sounds.  I have dared to hope that some day I shall ask you to be my wife, and that you won’t refuse.’

The word ‘wife’ reverberated on his ears.  A whirl of emotion broke the defiant calm he had supported for the last few minutes.  The silence seemed to be endless; when he looked at Sidwell, her head was bent, the eyes concealed by their drooping lids.  Her expression was very grave.

‘Such a piece of recklessness,’ he said at length, ’deserves no answer.’

Sidwell raised her eyes and spoke gently, with voice a little shaken.

’Why should you call it recklessness?  I have never thought of the things that seem to trouble you so much.  You were a friend of ours.  Wasn’t that enough?’

It seemed to him an evasive reply.  Doubtless it was much that she showed neither annoyance nor prudish reserve.  He had won the right of addressing her on equal terms, but she was not inclined to anticipate that future day to which he pointed.

’You have never thought of such things, because you have never thought of me as I of you.  Every day of your absence in London has caused me torments which were due most often to the difference between your social position and mine.  You have been among people of leisure and refinement and culture.  Each evening you have talked with men whom it cost no effort to make themselves liked and respected.  I think of that with bitterness.’