Peak uttered a short laugh.
’That is only saying that she might have been ruinous, but in the course of circumstances has proved helpful. I envy your power of deriving comfort from such reflections.’
’Well, we view things differently. I have the habit of looking to the consolatory facts of life, you to the depressing. There’s an unfortunate lack in you, Peak; you seem insensible to female influence, and I believe that is closely connected with your desperate pessimism.’
Godwin laughed again, this time with mocking length of note. ’Come now, isn’t it true?’ urged the other. ’Sincerely, do you care for women at all?’
‘Perhaps not.’
’A grave misfortune, depend upon it! It accounts for nearly everything that is unsatisfactory in your life. If you had ever been sincerely devoted to a woman, be assured your powers would have developed in a way of which you have no conception. It’s no answer to tell me that I am still a mere trifler, never likely to do anything of account; I haven’t it in me to be anything better, and I might easily have become much worse. But you might have made yourself a great position—I mean, you might do so; you are still very young. If only you knew the desire of a woman’s help.’
‘You really think so?’ said Godwin, with grave irony.
’I am sure of it! There’s no harm in repeating what you have often told me—your egoism oppresses you. A woman’s influence takes one out of oneself. No man can be a better authority on this than I. For more than eleven years I have worshipped one woman with absolute faithfulness’——
‘Absolute?’ interrupted Godwin, bluntly.
‘What exception occurs to you?’
’As you challenge inquiry, forgive me for asking what your interest was in one of your cousins at Twybridge?’
Christian started, and averted his face with a look of embarrassment.
‘Do you mean to say that you knew anything about that?’
‘I was always an observer,’ Peak replied, smiling. ’You don’t remember, perhaps, that I happened to be present when a letter had just arrived for you at your uncle’s house—a letter which evidently disturbed you?’
’This is astonishing! Peak, you’re a terrible fellow! Heaven forbid that I should ever be at your mercy! Yes, you are quite right,’ he continued, despondently. ’But that was no real unfaithfulness. I don’t quite know how to explain it. I did make love to poor Janet, and with the result that I have never since seen any of the family. My uncle, when he found I had drawn back, was very savage— naturally enough. Marcella and I never again went to Twybridge. I liked Janet; she was a good, kind girl. I believed just then that my love for Constance was hopeless; my mood impelled me to the conviction that the best thing I could do was to marry Janet and settle down to a peaceful domestic life. Then came that letter—it was from Constance herself. It meant nothing, yet it was enough to revive all my hopes. I rushed off—! How brutally I had behaved! Poor little Janet!’