’At last I became as tired of dissipation as I had previously been of travelling, and I determined to retire to the country, and live on my paternal estate; this resolution I was not slow in putting into effect; I sold my house in town, repaired and refurnished my country house, and, for at least ten years, lived a regular country life; I gave dinner parties, prosecuted poachers, was charitable to the poor, and now and then went into my library; during this time I was seldom or never visited by the magic impulse, the reason being that there was nothing in the wide world for which I cared sufficiently to move a finger to preserve it.  When the ten years, however, were nearly ended, I started out of bed one morning in a fit of horror, exclaiming, “Mercy, mercy! what will become of me?  I am afraid I shall go mad.  I have lived thirty-five years and upwards without doing anything; shall I pass through life in this manner?  Horror!” And then in rapid succession I touched three different objects.

’I dressed myself and went down, determining to set about something; but what was I to do?—­there was the difficulty.  I ate no breakfast, but walked about the room in a state of distraction; at last I thought that the easiest way to do something was to get into Parliament, there would be no difficulty in that.  I had plenty of money, and could buy a seat; but what was I to do in Parliament?  Speak, of course—­but could I speak?  “I’ll try at once,” said I, and forthwith I rushed into the largest dining-room, and, locking the door, I commenced speaking:  “Mr. Speaker,” said I, and then I went on speaking for about ten minutes as I best could, and then I left off, for I was talking nonsense.  No, I was not formed for Parliament; I could do nothing there.  What—­what was I to do?

’Many, many times I thought this question over, but was unable to solve it; a fear now stole over me that I was unfit for anything in the world, save the lazy life of vegetation which I had for many years been leading; yet, if that were the case, thought I, why the craving within me to distinguish myself?  Surely it does not occur fortuitously, but is intended to rouse and call into exercise certain latent powers that I possess? and then with infinite eagerness I set about attempting to discover these latent powers.  I tried an infinity of pursuits, botany and geology amongst the rest, but in vain; I was fitted for none of them.  I became very sorrowful and despondent, and at one time I had almost resolved to plunge again into the whirlpool of dissipation; it was a dreadful resource, it was true, but what better could I do?