her affection for her own circle did not in the least
prevent her from perceiving their absurdities.
She was not all loyalty and devotion, nor did she
pretend to be interested in things for which she did
not care. There were many conventions, which
Howard for the first time discovered that he himself
unconsciously held, which Maud did not think in the
least important. Howard began to see that he
himself had really been a somewhat conventional person,
with a respect for success and position and dignity
and influence. He saw that his own chief motive
had been never to do anything disagreeable or unreasonable
or original or decisive; he began to see that his unconscious
aim had been to fit himself without self-assertion
into his circle, and to make himself unobtrusively
necessary to people. Maud had no touch of this
in her nature at all; her only ambition seemed to be
to be loved, which was accompanied by what seemed to
Howard a marvellous incapacity for being shocked by
anything; she was wholly innocent and ingenuous, but
yet he found to his surprise that she knew something
of the dark corners of life, and the moral problems
of village life were a matter of course to her.
He had naturally supposed that a girl would have been
fenced round by illusions; but it was not so.
She had seen and observed and drawn her conclusions.
She thought very little of what one commonly called
sins, and her indignation seemed aroused by nothing
but cruelty and treachery. It became clear to
Howard that Mr. Sandys and Mrs. Graves had been very
wise in the matter, and that Maud had not been brought
up in any silly ignorance of human frailty. Her
religion was equally a surprise to him. He had
thought that a girl brought up as Maud had been would
be sure to hold a tissue of accepted beliefs which
he must be careful not to disturb. But here again
she seemed to have little but a few fine principles,
set in a simple Christian framework. They were
talking about this one day, and Maud laughed at something
he said.
“You need not be so cautious,” she said,
“though I like you to be cautious—you
are afraid of hurting me; but you won’t do that!
Cousin Anne taught me long ago that it was no use believing
anything unless you understood more or less where it
was leading you. It’s no good pretending
to know. Cousin Anne once said to me that one
had to choose between science and superstition.
I don’t know anything about science, but I’m
not superstitious.”
“Yes,” said Howard, “I see—I
won’t be fussy any more; I will just speak as
I think. You are wiser than the aged, child!
You will have to help me out. I am a mass of
crusted prejudices, I find; but you are melting them
all away. What beats me is how you found it all
out.”