This accusation containing a partial truth (that is, true if it referred to the afternoon, but not as to the morning), it was necessary for Braintop’s self-vindication that he should feel angry.  The two were very soon recriminating, much in the manner of boy and girl shut up on a sunny afternoon; after which they, in like manner, made it up—­the fact of both having a habit of consulting the glass, and the accident of their doing it at the same time, causing an encounter of glances there that could hardly fail to be succeeded by some affability.  For a last effort, Mrs. Chump laid before Braintop a prospect of advancement in his office, if he so contrived as to write a letter that should land her in Brookfield among a scourged, repentant, and forgiven people.  That he might understand the position, she went far modestly to reveal her weakness for Mr. Pole.  She even consented to let ‘Ladies’ be the opening apostrophe, provided the word ‘Young’ went before it:  “They’ll feel that sting,” she said.  Braintop stipulated that she should not look till the letter was done; and, observing his pen travelling the lines in quick succession, Mrs. Chump became inspired by a great but uneasy hope.  She was only to be restrained from peeping, by Braintop’s petulant “Pray, ma’am!” which sent her bouncing back to her chair, with a face upon one occasion too solemn for Braintop’s gravity.  He had written himself into excellent spirits; and happening to look up as Mrs. Chump retreated from his shoulder, the woman’s comic reverence for his occupation—­the prim movement of her lips while she repeated mutely the words she supposed he might be penning—­touched him to laughter.  At once Mrs. Chump seized on the paper.  “Young ladus,” she read aloud, “yours of the 2nd, the 14th, and 21st ulto.  The ’ffection I bear to your onnly remaining parent.”

Her enunciation waxed slower and significantly staccato toward a pause.  The composition might undoubtedly have issued from a merchant’s office, and would have done no discredit to the establishment.  When the pause came, Braintop, half for an opinion, and to encourage progress, said, “Yes, ma’am;” and with “There, sir!” Mrs. Chump crumpled up the paper and flung it at him.  “And there, sir!” she tossed a pen.  Hearing Braintop mutter, “Lady-like behaviour,” Mrs. Chump came out in a fiery bloom.  “Ye detestable young fella!  Oh, ye young deceiver!  Ye cann’t do the work of a man!  Oh! and here’s another woman dis’pointed, and when she thought she’d got a man to write her letters!”

Braintop rose and retorted.

“Ye’re false, Mr. Braintop—­ye’re offensuv, sir!” said Mrs. Chump; and Braintop instantly retired upon an expressive bow.  When he was out of the room, Mrs. Chump appealed spitefully to an audience of chairs; but when she heard the front-door shut with a report, she jumped up in terror, crying incredulously, “Is the young man pos’tively one?  Oh! and me alone in a rage!—­” the contemplated horrors of which position set her