hear me, another Jew gentleman; and he was delighted,
and he met me near our door the very next morning,
and offered me a ring with blue stones, and he proposed
to marry me also, and take me to Italy, if I would
give up his friend and choose him instead. This
man did not touch me, and, do you know, for some time
I really thought I almost, very nearly, might,—if
it had not been for his face! It was impossible
to go to Italy—yes, to go to heaven! through
that face of his! That face of his was just like
the pictures of dancing men with animals’ hairy
legs and hoofs in an old thick poetry book belonging
to my mother. Just fancy a nose that seemed to
be pecking at great fat red lips! He met me and
pressed me to go continually, till all of a sudden
up came the first Jew gentleman, and he cried out
quite loud in the street that he was being robbed
by the other; and they stood and made a noise in the
street, and I ran away. But then I heard that
my father had borrowed money from the one who came
first, and that his violin came from that man; and
my father told me the violin would be taken from him,
and he would have to go to prison, if I did not marry
that man. I went and cried in my mother’s
arms. I shall never forget her kindness; for though
she could never see anybody crying without crying
herself, she did not, and was quiet as a mouse, because
she knew how her voice hurt me. There’s
a large print-shop in one of the great streets of
London, with coloured views of Italy. I used
to go there once, and stand there for I don’t
know how long, looking at them, and trying to get
those Jew gentlemen—”
“Call them Jews—they’re not
gentlemen,” interposed Wilfrid.
“Jews,” she obeyed the dictate, “out
of my mind. When I saw the views of Italy they
danced and grinned up and down the pictures. Oh,
horrible! There was no singing for me then.
My music died. At last that oldish lady gave
up her lessons, and said to me, ’You little rogue!
you will do what I do, some day;’ for she was
going to be married to that young man who thought
her voice so much improved; and she paid me three pounds,
and gave me one pound more, and some ribbons and gloves.
I went at once to my mother, and made her give me
five pounds out of the gentleman’s purse.
I took my harp and music-scores. I did not know
where I was going, but only that I could not stop.
My mother cried: but she helped to pack my things.
If she disobeys me I act my father, and tower over
her, and frown, and make her mild. She was such
a poor good slave to me that day! but I trusted her
no farther than the door. There I kissed her,
full of love, and reached the railway. They asked
me where I was going, and named places to me:
I did not know one. I shut my eyes, and prayed
to be directed, and chose Hillford. In the train
I was full of music in a moment. There I met
farmer Wilson, of the farm near us—where
your sisters found me; and he was kind, and asked
me about myself; and I mentioned lodgings, and that
I longed for woods and meadows. Just as we were
getting out of the train, he said I was to come with
him; and I did, very gladly. Then I met you;
and I am here. All because I prayed to be directed—I
do think that!”