I thought he did not mind it much, for he read it
out to us quite quietly; and then he made me sit on
his knee and read it out. I cried with rage, and
he called to me, ‘Sandra! Peace!’
and began walking up and down the room, while my mother
got the bread and cheese and spread it on the table,
for we were beginning to be richer. I saw my
father take out his violin. He put it on the
cloth and looked at it. Then he took it up, and
laid his chin on it like a man full of love, and drew
the bow across just once. He whirled away the
bow, and knocked down our candle, and in the darkness
I heard something snap and break with a hollow sound.
When I could see, he had broken it, the neck from
the body—the dear old violin! I could
cry still. I—I was too late to save
it. I saw it broken, and the empty belly, and
the loose strings! It was murdering a spirit—that
was! My father sat in a corner one whole week,
moping like such an old man! I was nearly dead
with my mother’s voice. By-and-by we were
all silent, for there was nothing to eat. So
I said to my mother, “I will earn money.”
My mother cried. I proposed to take a lodging
for myself, all by myself; go there in the morning
and return at night, and give lessons, and get money
for them. My landlady’s good son gave me
the brass-plate again. Emilia Alessandra Belloni!
I was glad to see my name. I got two pupils very
quickly one, an old lady, and one, a young one.
The old lady—I mean, she was not grey—wanted
a gentleman to marry her, and the landlady told me—I
mean my pupil—it makes me laugh—asked
him what he thought of her voice: for I had been
singing. I earned a great deal of money:
two pounds ten shillings a week. I could afford
to pay for lessons myself, I thought. What an
expense! I had to pay ten shillings for one lesson!
Some have to pay twenty; but I would pay it to learn
from the best masters;—and I had to make
my father and mother live on potatoes, and myself
too, of course. If you buy potatoes carefully,
they are extremely cheap things to live upon, and
make you forget your hunger more than anything else.
“I suppose,” added Emilia, “you
have never lived upon potatoes entirely? Oh,
no!”
Wilfrid gave a quiet negative.
“But I was pining to learn, and was obliged
to keep them low. I could pitch any notes, and
I was clear but I was always ornamenting, and what
I want is to be an accurate singer. My music-master
was a German—not an Austrian—oh,
no!—I’m sure he was not. At least,
I don’t think so, for I liked him. He was
harsh with me, but sometimes he did stretch his fingers
on my head, and turn it round, and say words that I
pretended not to think of, though they sent me home
burning. I began to compose, and this gentleman
tore up the whole sheet in a rage, when I showed it
him; but he gave me a dinner, and left off charging
me ten shillings—only seven, and then five—and
he gave me more time than he gave others. He also
did something which I don’t know yet whether