Arden: I will take to heart what you say, sir.
Homeware: Take it to head. There must be occasional descent of lovers’ heads from the clouds. And Professor Spiral,—But here we have a belated breeze of skirts.
(The reference is to the arrival of Lyra, breathless.)
Scene III
Homeware, Arden, Lyra
Lyra: My own dear uncle Homeware!
Homeware: But where is Pluriel?
Lyra: Where is a woman’s husband when she is away from him?
Homeware: In Purgatory, by the proper reckoning. But hurry up the avenue, or you will be late for Professor Spiral’s address.
Lyra: I know it all without hearing. Their Spiral! Ah, Mr. Arden! You have not chosen badly. The greater my experience, the more do I value my uncle Homeware’s company.
(She is affectionate to excess but
has a roguish eye withal, as of
one who knows that uncle Homeware
suspects all young men and most
young women.)
Homeware: Agree with the lady promptly, my friend.
Arden: I would gladly boast of so lengthened an experience, Lady Pluriel.
Lyra: I must have a talk with Astraea, my dear uncle. Her letters breed suspicions. She writes feverishly. The last one hints at service on the West Coast of Africa.
Homeware: For the draining of a pestiferous land, or an enlightenment of the benighted black, we could not despatch a missionary more effective than the handsomest widow in Great Britain.
Lyra: Have you not seen signs of disturbance?
Homeware: A great oration may be a sedative.
Lyra: I have my suspicions.
Homeware: Mr. Arden, I could counsel you
to throw yourself at Lady
Pluriel’s feet, and institute her as your confessional
priest.
Arden: Madam, I am at your feet. I am devoted to the lady.
Lyra: Devoted. There cannot be an objection. It signifies that a man asks for nothing in return!
Homeware: Have a thought upon your words with this lady, Mr. Arden!
Arden: Devoted, I said. I am. I would give my life for her.
Lyra: Expecting it to be taken to-morrow or next day? Accept my encomiums. A male devotee is within an inch of a miracle. Women had been looking for this model for ages, uncle.
Homeware: You are the model, Mr Arden!
Lyra: Can you have intended to say that it is in view of marriage you are devoted to the widow of Professor Towers?
Arden: My one view.
Lyra: It is a star you are beseeching to descend.
Arden: It is.
Lyra: You disappoint me hugely. You are of the ordinary tribe after all; and your devotion craves an enormous exchange, infinitely surpassing the amount you bestow.