the fellow’s sister. She talked till she
piped her eye—talked about our lasting union.
On my soul, I believe I egged Netty on! I was
in a mollified way with that wine; all of a sudden
the woman joins their hands! And I—a
man of spirit will despise me!—what I thought
of was, ‘now my secret’s safe!’ You’ve
sobered me, young sir. I see myself, if that’s
being sober. I don’t ask your opinion of
me; I am a deserter, false to my colours, a breaker
of his oath. Only mark this: I was married,
and a common trooper, married to a handsome young
woman, true as steel; but she was handsome, and we
were starvation poor, and she had to endure persecution
from an officer day by day. Bear that situation
in your mind. . . . Providence dropped me a hundred
pounds out of the sky. Properly speaking, it
popped up out of the earth, for I reaped it, you may
say, from a relative’s grave. Rich and poor
’s all right, if I’m rich and you’re
poor; and you may be happy though you’re poor;
but where there are many poor young women, lots of
rich men are a terrible temptation to them. That’s
my dear good wife speaking, and had she been spared
to me I never should have come back to Old England,
and heart’s delight and heartache I should not
have known. She was my backbone, she was my breast-comforter
too. Why did she stick to me? Because I
had faith in her when appearances were against her.
But she never forgave this country the hurt to her
woman’s pride. You’ll have noticed
a squarish jaw in Netty. That’s her mother.
And I shall have to encounter it, supposing I find
Mart Tinman has been playing me false. I’m
blown on somehow. I’ll think of what course
I’ll take ’twixt now and morning.
Good night, young gentleman.”
“Good night; sir,” said Herbert, adding,
“I will get information from the Horse Guards;
as for the people knowing it about here, you’re
not living much in society—”
“It’s not other people’s feelings,
it’s my own,” Van Diemen silenced him.
“I feel it, if it’s in the wind; ever since
Mart Tinman spoke the thing out, I’ve felt on
my skin cold and hot.”
He flourished his lighted candle and went to bed,
manifestly solaced by the idea that he was the victim
of his own feelings.
Herbert could not sleep. Annette’s monstrous
choice of Tinman in preference to himself constantly
assailed and shook his understanding. There was
the “squarish jaw” mentioned by her father
to think of. It filled him with a vague apprehension,
but he was unable to imagine that a young girl, and
an English girl, and an enthusiastic young English
girl, could be devoid of sentiment; and presuming
her to have it, as one must, there was no fear, that
she would persist in her loathsome choice when she
knew her father was against it.
CHAPTER IX
Annette did not shun him next morning. She did
not shun the subject, either. But she had been
exact in arranging that she should not be more than
a few minutes downstairs before her father. Herbert
found, that compared with her, girls of sentiment
are commonplace indeed. She had conceived an
insane idea of nobility in Tinman that blinded her
to his face, figure, and character—his
manners, likewise. He had forgiven a blow!