considering it necessary for the bed to appear to
have been lain on. Considering also that she ought
to be heard moving about in the process of undressing,
she rose from the bed to make sure of her reading
of the guilty clock. An hour and twenty minutes!
she had no more time than that: and it was not
enough for her various preparations, though it was
true that her maid had packed and taken a box of the
things chiefly needful; but the duchess had to change
her shoes and her dress, and run at bo-peep with the
changes of her mind, a sedative preface to any fatal
step among women of her complexion, for so they invite
indecision to exhaust their scruples, and they let
the blood have its way. Having so short a space
of time, she thought the matter decided, and with
some relief she flung despairing on the bed, and lay
down for good with her duke. In a little while
her head was at work reviewing him sternly, estimating
him not less accurately than the male moralist charitable
to her sex would do. She quitted the bed, with
a spring to escape her imagined lord; and as if she
had felt him to be there, she lay down no more.
A quiet life like that was flatter to her idea than
a handsomely bound big book without any print on the
pages, and without a picture. Her contemplation
of it, contrasted with the life waved to her view
by the timepiece, set her whole system rageing; she
burned to fly. Providently, nevertheless, she
thumped a pillow, and threw the bedclothes into proper
disorder, to inform the world that her limbs had warmed
them, and that all had been impulse with her.
She then proceeded to disrobe, murmuring to herself
that she could stop now, and could stop now, at each
stage of the advance to a fresh dressing of her person,
and moralizing on her singular fate, in the mouth of
an observer. ’She was shot up suddenly
over everybody’s head, and suddenly down she
went.’ Susan whispered to herself:
‘But it was for love!’ Possessed by the
rosiness of love, she finished her business, with an
attention to everything needed that was equal to perfect
serenity of mind. After which there was nothing
to do, save to sit humped in a chair, cover her face
and count the clock-tickings, that said, Yes—no;
do—don’t; fly—stay; fly—fly!
It seemed to her she heard a moving. Well she
might with that dreadful heart of hers!
Chloe was asleep, at peace by this time, she thought;
and how she envied Chloe! She might be as happy,
if she pleased. Why not? But what kind of
happiness was it? She likened it to that of the
corpse underground, and shrank distastefully.
Susan stood at her glass to have a look at the creature
about whom there was all this disturbance, and she
threw up her arms high for a languid, not unlovely
yawn, that closed in blissful shuddering with the sensation
of her lover’s arms having wormed round her waist
and taken her while she was defenceless. For
surely they would. She took a jewelled ring, his
gift, from her purse, and kissed it, and drew it on
and off her finger, leaving it on. Now she might
wear it without fear of inquiries and virtuous eyebrows.
O heavenly now—if only it were an hour hence;
and going behind galloping horses!