’My dear soul, it ‘s a flint. So just think of your duty.’ Dartrey played the horrid part of executioner with some skill.
Her bosom sprang to descend into abysses.
’And never a greater fool than when I sent for you to see such a face as I’m showing!’ she cried, with lips that twitched and fingers that plucked at her belt. ’But you might feel my hatred of being tied to—dragged about over the Continent by that . . . perhaps you think a woman is not sensible of vulgarity in her husband! I ’m bothering you? I don’t say I have the slightest claim. You never made love to me, never! Never so much as pressed my hand or looked. Others have—as much as I let them. And before I saw you, I had not an idea of another man but that man. So you advise me to go?’
‘There’s no other course.’
’No other course. I don’t see one. What have I been dreaming of! Usually a woman feeling . . .’ she struck at her breast, ’has had a soft word in her ear. “Go!” I don’t blame you, Captain Dartrey. At least, you ’re not the man to punish a woman for stripping herself, as I ’ve done. I call myself a fool—I’m a lunatic. Trust me with your hand.’
‘There you are.’
She grasped the hand, and shut her eyes to make a long age of the holding on to him. ’Oh, you dear dear fellow!—don’t think me unwomanly; I must tell you now: I am naked and can’t disguise. I see you are ice—feel: and if you were different, I might be. You won’t be hurt by hearing you’ve made yourself dear to me—without meaning to, I know! It began that day at Lakelands; I fell in love with you the very first minute I set eyes on you! There’s a confession for a woman to make! and a married woman! I’m married, and I no more feel allegiance, as they call it, than if there never had been a ceremony and no Jacob Blathenoy was in existence. And why I should go to him! But you shan’t be troubled. I did not begin to live, as a woman, before I met you. I can speak all this to you because—we women can’t be deceived in that—you are one of the men who can be counted on for a friend.’
‘I hope so,’ Dartrey said, and his mouth hardened as nature’s electricity shot sparks into him from the touch and rocked him.
‘No, not yet: I will soon let it drop,’ said she, and she was just then thrillingly pretty; she caressed the hand, placing it at her throat and moving her chin on it, as women fondle birds. ’I am positively to go, then?’
‘Positively, you are to go; and it’s my command.’
‘Not in love with any one at all?’
‘Not with a soul.’
‘Not with a woman?’
‘With no woman.’
‘Nor maid?’
‘No! and no to everything. And an end to the catechism!’
‘It is really a flint that beats here?’ she said, and with a shyness in adventurousness, she struck the point of her forefinger on the rib. ’Fancy me in love with a flint! And running to be dutiful to a Jacob Blathenoy, at my flint’s command. I’m half in love with doing what I hate, because this cold thing here bids me do it. I believe I married for money, and now it looks as if I were to have my bargain with poverty to bless it.’