return. The shortness of the interval made it
appear the deeper gulf. She noticed that her father
particularly inquired of the man-servant whether Captain
Beauchamp limped. It seemed a piece of kindly
anxiety on his part. The captain was mounted,
the man said. Cecilia was conscious of rumours
being abroad relating to Nevil’s expedition
to France; but he had enemies, and was at war with
them, and she held herself indifferent to tattle.
This card bearing his name, recently in his hand,
was much more insidious and precise. She took
it to her room to look at it. Nothing but his
name and naval title was inscribed; no pencilled line;
she had not expected to discover one. The simple
card was her dark light, as a handkerchief, a flower,
a knot of riband, has been for men luridly illuminated
by such small sparks to fling their beams on shadows
and read the monstrous things for truths. Her
purer virgin blood was, not inflamed. She read
the signification of the card sadly as she did clearly.
What she could not so distinctly imagine was, how
he could reconcile the devotion to his country, which
he had taught her to put her faith in, with his unhappy
subjection to Madame de Rouaillout. How could
the nobler sentiment exist side by side with one that
was lawless? Or was the wildness characteristic
of his political views proof of a nature inclining
to disown moral ties? She feared so; he did not
speak of the clergy respectfully. Reading in the
dark, she was forced to rely on her social instincts,
and she distrusted her personal feelings as much as
she could, for she wished to know the truth of him;
anything, pain and heartrending, rather than the shutting
of the eyes in an unworthy abandonment to mere emotion
and fascination. Cecilia’s love could not
be otherwise given to a man, however near she might
be drawn to love—though she should suffer
the pangs of love cruelly.
She placed his card in her writing-desk; she had his
likeness there. Commander Beauchamp encouraged
the art of photography, as those that make long voyages
do, in reciprocating what they petition their friends
for. Mrs. Rosamund Culling had a whole collection
of photographs of him, equal to a visual history of
his growth in chapters, from boyhood to midshipmanship
and to manhood. The specimen possessed by Cecilia
was one of a couple that Beauchamp had forwarded to
Mrs. Grancey Lespel on the day of his departure for
France, and was a present from that lady, purchased,
like so many presents, at a cost Cecilia would have
paid heavily in gold to have been spared, namely,
a public blush. She was allowed to make her choice,
and she chose the profile, repeating a remark of Mrs.
Culling’s, that it suggested an arrow-head in
the upflight; whereupon Mr. Stukely Culbrett had said,
’Then there is the man, for he is undoubtedly
a projectile’; nor were politically-hostile punsters
on an arrow-head inactive. But Cecilia was thinking
of the side-face she (less intently than Beauchamp
at hers) had glanced at during the drive into Bevisham.
At that moment, she fancied Madame de Rouaillout might
be doing likewise; and oh that she had the portrait
of the French lady as well!