Thank you, Charles, for your letter! I was beginning to think my invitation to Dayton inexplicable, when that letter arrived. I cannot but deem it an unworthy baseness to entrap a girl to study her without a warning to her. I went up to my room after I had read it, and wrote in reply till the breakfast-bell rang. I resumed my occupation an hour later, and wrote till one o’clock. In all, fifteen pages of writing, which I carefully folded and addressed to Charles; sealed the envelope, stamped it, and destroyed it. I went to bed. ’No, I won’t ride out to-day, I have a headache!’ I repeated this about half-a-dozen times to nobody’s knocking on the door, and when at last somebody knocked I tried to repeat it once, but having the message that Mr. Pollingray particularly wished to have my company in a ride, I rose submissively and cried. This humiliation made my temper ferocious. Mr. Pollingray observed my face, and put it down in his notebook. ’A savage disposition,’ or, no, ‘An untamed little rebel’; for he has hopes of me. He had the cruelty to say so.
‘What I am, I shall remain,’ said I.
He informed me that it was perfectly natural for me to think it; and on my replying that persons ought to know themselves best: ’At my age, perhaps,’ he said, and added, ’I cannot speak very confidently of my knowledge of myself.’
‘Then you make us out to be nothing better than puppets, Mr. Pollingray.’
’If we have missed an early apprenticeship to the habit of self-command, ma filleule.’
‘Merci, mon parrain.’
He laughed. My French, I suppose.
I determined that, if he wanted to study me, I would help him.
‘I can command myself when I choose, but it is only when I choose.’
This seemed to me quite a reasonable speech, until I found him looking for something to follow, in explanation, and on coming to sift my meaning, I saw that it was temper, and getting more angry, continued:
’The sort of young people who have such wonderful command of themselves are not the pleasantest.’
‘No,’ he said; ‘they disappoint us. We expect folly from the young.’