might see it at will, and considering it necessary
for the bed to appear to have been lain on.
Considering also that she ought to be heard moving
about in the process of undressing, she rose from the
bed to make sure of her reading of the guilty clock.
An hour and twenty minutes! she had no more time
than that: and it was not enough for her various
preparations, though it was true that her maid had
packed and taken a box of the things chiefly needful;
but the duchess had to change her shoes and her dress,
and run at bo-peep with the changes of her mind, a
sedative preface to any fatal step among women of her
complexion, for so they invite indecision to exhaust
their scruples, and they let the blood have its way.
Having so short a space of time, she thought the
matter decided, and with some relief she flung despairing
on the bed, and lay down for good with her duke.
In a little while her head was at work reviewing
him sternly, estimating him not less accurately than
the male moralist charitable to her sex would do.
She quitted the bed, with a spring to escape her
imagined lord; and as if she had felt him to be there,
she lay down no more. A quiet life like that
was flatter to her idea than a handsomely bound big
book without any print on the pages, and without a
picture. Her contemplation of it, contrasted
with the life waved to her view by the timepiece,
set her whole system rageing; she burned to fly.
Providently, nevertheless, she thumped a pillow, and
threw the bedclothes into proper disorder, to inform
the world that her limbs had warmed them, and that
all had been impulse with her. She then proceeded
to disrobe, murmuring to herself that she could stop
now, and could stop now, at each stage of the advance
to a fresh dressing of her person, and moralizing
on her singular fate, in the mouth of an observer.
’She was shot up suddenly over everybody’s
head, and suddenly down she went.’ Susan
whispered to herself: ‘But it was for love!’
Possessed by the rosiness of love, she finished her
business, with an attention to everything needed that
was equal to perfect serenity of mind. After
which there was nothing to do, save to sit humped in
a chair, cover her face and count the clock-tickings,
that said, Yes—no; do—don’t;
fly— stay; fly—fly! It
seemed to her she heard a moving. Well she might
with that dreadful heart of hers!
Chloe was asleep, at peace by this time, she thought;
and how she envied Chloe! She might be as happy,
if she pleased. Why not? But what kind
of happiness was it? She likened it to that of
the corpse underground, and shrank distastefully.
Susan stood at her glass to have a look at the creature
about whom there was all this disturbance, and she
threw up her arms high for a languid, not unlovely
yawn, that closed in blissful shuddering with the sensation
of her lover’s arms having wormed round her waist
and taken her while she was defenceless. For
surely they would. She took a jewelled ring,
his gift, from her purse, and kissed it, and drew
it on and off her finger, leaving it on. Now
she might wear it without fear of inquiries and virtuous
eyebrows. O heavenly now—if only it
were an hour hence; and going behind galloping horses!