CHAPTER XXXVI

IS CONCLUSIVE AS TO THE HEARTLESSNESS OF WOMEN WITH BRAINS

Hymenaeal rumours are those which might be backed to run a victorious race with the tale of evil fortune; and clearly for the reason that man’s livelier half is ever alert to speed them.  They travel with an astonishing celerity over the land, like flames of the dry beacon-faggots of old time in announcement of the invader or a conquest, gathering as they go:  wherein, to say nothing of their vastly wider range, they surpass the electric wires.  Man’s nuptial half is kindlingly concerned in the launch of a new couple; it is the business of the fair sex:  and man himself (very strangely, but nature quickens him still) lends a not unfavouring eye to the preparations of the matrimonial vessel for its oily descent into the tides, where billows will soon be rising, captain and mate soon discussing the fateful question of who is commander.  We consent, it appears, to hope again for mankind; here is another chance!  Or else, assuming the happiness of the pair, that pomp of ceremonial, contrasted with the little wind-blown candle they carry between them, catches at our weaker fibres.

After so many ships have foundered, some keel up, like poisoned fish, at the first drink of water, it is a gallant spectacle, let us avow; and either the world perpetuating it is heroical or nature incorrigible in the species.  Marriages are unceasing.  Friends do it, and enemies; the unknown contractors of this engagement, or armistice, inspire an interest.  It certainly is both exciting and comforting to hear that man and woman are ready to join in a mutual affirmative, say Yes together again.  It sounds like the end of the war.

The proclamation of the proximate marriage of a young Minister of State and the greatest heiress of her day; notoriously ’The young Minister of State’ of a famous book written by the beautiful, now writhing, woman madly enamoured of him—­and the heiress whose dowry could purchase a Duchy; this was a note to make the gossips of England leap from their beds at the midnight hour and wag tongues in the market-place.  It did away with the political hubbub over the Tonans article, and let it noise abroad like nonsense.  The Hon. Percy Dacier espouses Miss Asper; and she rescues him from the snares of a siren, he her from the toils of the Papists.  She would have gone over to them, she was going when, luckily for the Protestant Faith, Percy Dacier intervened with his proposal.  Town and country buzzed the news; and while that dreary League trumpeted about the business of the nation, a people suddenly become Oriental chattered of nothing but the blissful union to be celebrated in princely state, with every musical accessory, short of Operatic.