charge of ten thousand dragoons, was silenced—the
pit appeared impassable. Did the Countess crow
over her advantage? Mark her: the lady’s
face is entirely given up to partridges. ’English
sports are so much envied abroad,’ she says:
but what she dreads is a reflection, for that leads
off from the point. A portion of her mind she
keeps to combat them in Lady Jocelyn and others who
have the tendency: the rest she divides between
internal-prayers for succour, and casting about for
another popular subject to follow partridges.
Now, mere talent, as critics say when they are lighting
candles round a genius, mere talent would have hit
upon pheasants as the natural sequitur, and then diverged
to sports—a great theme, for it ensures
a chorus of sneers at foreigners, and so on probably
to a discussion of birds and beasts best adapted to
enrapture the palate of man. Stories may succeed,
but they are doubtful, and not to be trusted, coming
after cookery. After an exciting subject which
has made the general tongue to wag, and just enough
heated the brain to cause it to cry out for spiced
food—then start your story: taking
care that it be mild; for one too marvellous stops
the tide, the sense of climax being strongly implanted
in all bosoms. So the Countess told an anecdote—one
of Mel’s. Mr. George Uplift was quite familiar
with it, and knew of one passage that would have abashed
him to relate ’before ladies.’ The
sylph-like ease with which the Countess floated over
this foul abysm was miraculous. Mr. George screwed
his eye-lids queerly, and closed his jaws with a report,
completely beaten. The anecdote was of the character
of an apologue, and pertained to game. This was,
as it happened, a misfortune; for Mr. Raikes had felt
himself left behind by the subject; and the stuff
that was in this young man being naturally ebullient,
he lay by to trip it, and take a lead. His remarks
brought on him a shrewd cut from the Countess, which
made matters worse; for a pun may also breed puns,
as doth an anecdote. The Countess’s stroke
was so neat and perfect that it was something for
the gentlemen to think over; and to punish her for
giving way to her cleverness and to petty vexation,
‘Hem!’ sounded once more, and then:
’May I ask you if the present Baronet is in
England?’
Now Lady Jocelyn perceived that some attack was directed against her guest. She allowed the Countess to answer:
‘The eldest was drowned in the Lisbon waters’
And then said: ’But who is it that persists in serving up the funeral baked meats to us?’
Mrs. Shorne spoke for her neighbour: ’Mr. Farnley’s cousin was the steward of Sir Abraham Harrington’s estates.’
The Countess held up her head boldly. There is a courageous exaltation of the nerves known to heroes and great generals in action when they feel sure that resources within themselves will spring up to the emergency, and that over simple mortals success is positive.