on her existence. He was not sorry, because it
was not his fault, but in his childish way he coldly
excused her, and, more from a queer consciousness of
blighterdom than from dread of her hand and tongue,
he avoided her as much as possible. In the little
Buttons his experience as scapegoat taught him to
take but little interest. From his earliest memories
they were the first to be fed, clothed and bedded;
to his own share fell the exiguous scraps. As
they were much younger than himself, he found no pleasure
in their companionship. For society he sought
such of the youth of Budge Street as would admit him
into their raucous fellowship. But, for some
reason which his immature mind could not fathom, he
felt a pariah even among his coevals. He could
run as fast as Billy Goodge, the undisputed leader
of the gang; he could dribble the rag football past
him any time he desired; once he had sent him home
to his mother with a bleeding nose, and, even in that
hour of triumph, popular sympathy had been with Billy,
not with him. It was the only problem in existence
to which his fatalism did not supply the key.
He knew himself to be a better man than Billy Goodge.
There was no doubt about it. At school, where
Billy was the woodenest blockhead, he was top of his
class. He knew things about troy weight and geography
and Isaac and the Mariners of England of which Billy
did not dream. To Billy the football news in the
Saturday afternoon edition of The Bludston Herald was
a cryptogram; to him it was an open book. He
would stand, acknowledged scholar, at the street corner
and read out from the soiled copy retrieved by Chunky,
the newsboy, the enthralling story of the football
day, never stumbling over a syllable, athrill with
the joy of being the umbilicus of a tense world, and,
when the recital was over, he would have the mortification
of seeing the throng pass away from him with the remorselessness
of a cloud scudding from the moon. And he would
hear Billy Goodge say exultantly:
“Didn’t Aw tell yo’ the Wolves hadn’t
a dog’s chance?”
And he would see the admiring gang slap Billy on the
back, and hear
“Good owd Billy!” and never a word of
thanks to him. Then, knowing
Billy to be a liar, he would tell him so, yelping
shrilly, in
Buttonesque vernacular (North and South):
“This morning tha said it was five to one on
Sheffield United.”
“Listen to Susie!”
The parasitic urchins would yell at the witticism—the
eternal petitio principii of childhood, which Billy,
secure in his cohort from bloody nose, felt justified
in making. And Paul Kegworthy, the rag of a newspaper
crumpled tight in his little hand, would watch them
disappear and wonder at the paradox of life. In
any sphere of human effort, so he dimly and childishly
realized, he could wipe out Billy Goodge. He
had a soul-reaching contempt for Billy Goodge, a passionate
envy of him. Why did Billy hold his position instead