My heart smote me as he disappeared; I had spoken
very harshly to the poor old fellow—but
I instinctively felt that it was necessary to do so.
His close and ceaseless examination of me—his
timidity when he approached me—the strange
tremors he experienced when I addressed him, were
so many warnings to me to be on my guard with this
devoted domestic. Were he, by some unforeseen
chance, to recognize me, my plans would all be spoiled.
I took my hat and left the house. As I crossed
the upper terrace, I saw a small round object lying
in the grass—it was Stella’s ball
that she used to throw for Wyvis to catch and bring
to her. I picked up the poor plaything tenderly
and put it in my pocket—and glancing up
once more at the darkened nursery windows, I waved
a kiss of farewell to my little one lying there in
her last sleep. Then fiercely controlling all
the weaker and softer emotions that threatened to
overwhelm me, I hurried away. On my road to the
hotel I stopped at the telegraph-office and dispatched
the news of Stella’s death to Guido Ferrari
in Rome. He would be surprised, I thought, but
certainly not grieved—the poor child had
always been in his way. Would he come back to
Naples to console the now childless widow? Not
he!—he would know well that she stood in
very small need of consolation—and that
she took Stella’s death as she had taken mine—as
a blessing, and not a bereavement. On reaching
my own rooms, I gave orders to Vincenzo that I was
not at home to any one who might call—and
I passed the rest of the day in absolute solitude.
I had much to think of. The last frail tie between
my wife and myself had been snapped asunder—the
child, the one innocent link in the long chain of
falsehood and deception, no longer existed. Was
I glad or sorry for this? I asked myself the question
a hundred times, and I admitted the truth, though
I trembled to realize it. I was
glad—yes—
glad!
Glad that my own child was dead! You call this
inhuman perhaps? Why? She was bound to have
been miserable; she was now happy!
The tragedy of her parents’ lives could be enacted
without imbittering and darkening her young days,
she was out of it all, and I rejoiced to know it.
For I was absolutely relentless; had my little Stella
lived, not even for her sake would I have relaxed in
one detail of my vengeance—nothing seemed
to me so paramount as the necessity for restoring
my own self-respect and damaged honor. In England
I know these things are managed by the Divorce Court.
Lawyers are paid exorbitant fees, and the names of
the guilty and innocent are dragged through the revolting
slums of the low London press. It may be an excellent
method—but it does not tend to elevate
a man in his own eyes, and it certainly does not do
much to restore his lost dignity. It has one
advantage—it enables the criminal parties
to have their way without further interference—the
wronged husband is set free—left out in
the cold—and laughed at by those who wronged