“The first thing I did,” said Davy, “after I got to Washington, was to go to the President’s.  I stepped into the President’s house.  Thinks I, who’s afeard.  If I didn’t, I wish I may be shot.  Says I, ‘Mr. Adams, I am Mr. Crockett, from Tennessee.’  So, says he, ’How d’ye do, Mr. Crockett?’ And he shook me by the hand, although he know’d I went the whole hog for Jackson.  If he didn’t, I wish I may be shot.

“Not only that, but he sent me a printed ticket to dine with him.  I’ve got it in my pocket yet.  I went to dinner, and I walked all around the long table, looking for something that I liked.  At last I took my seat beside a fat goose, and I helped myself to as much of it as I wanted.  But I hadn’t took three bites, when I looked away up the table at a man they called Tash (attache’).  He was talking French to a woman on t’other side of the table.  He dodged his head and she dodged hers, and then they got to drinking wine across the table.

“But when I looked back again my plate was gone, goose and all.  So I jist cast my eyes down to t’other end of the table, and sure enough I seed a white man walking off with my plate.  I says, ’Hello, mister, bring back my plate.’  He fetched it back in a hurry, as you may think.  And when he set it down before me, how do you think it was?  Licked as clean as my hand.  If it wasn’t, I wish I may be shot!

“Says he, ‘What will you have, sir?’ And says I, ’You may well say that, after stealing my goose.’  And he began to laugh.  Then says I, ’Mister, laugh if you please; but I don’t half-like sich tricks upon travellers.’  I then filled my plate with bacon and greens.  And whenever I looked up or down the table, I held on to my plate with my left hand.

“When we were all done eating, they cleared everything off the table, and took away the table-cloth.  And what do you think?  There was another cloth under it.  If there wasn’t, I wish I may be shot!  Then I saw a man coming along carrying a great glass thing, with a glass handle below, something like a candlestick.  It was stuck full of little glass cups, with something in them that looked good to eat.  Says I, ‘Mister, bring that thing here.’  Thinks I, let’s taste them first.  They were mighty sweet and good, so I took six of them.  If I didn’t, I wish I may be shot!”

This humorous fabrication was copied into almost every paper in the Union.  The more respectable portion of Crockett’s constituents were so annoyed that their representative should be thus held up to the contempt of the nation, that Crockett felt constrained to present a reliable refutation of the story.  He therefore obtained and published certificates from three gentlemen, testifying to his good behavior at the table.  Hon. Mr. Verplanck, of New York, testified as follows: 

“I dined at the President’s, at the time alluded to, in company with you, and I had, I recollect, a good deal of conversation with you.  Your behavior there was, I thought, perfectly becoming and proper.  And I do not recollect, or believe, that you said or did anything resembling the newspaper-account.”