or such as her sound intelligence deemed adequate,
was it possible to violate the confidence implied
in such a conversation between her and himself?
Till his mind had assumed some degree of calmness,
he could not trust himself to return to the house.
Turning from the main road at a point just before
the bridge over the river, he kept on the outskirts
of the town, and continued walking till he had almost
made the circuit of Dunfield. His speed was that
of a man who hastened with some express object; his
limbs seemed spurred to activity by the gallop of
his thoughts. His reason would scarcely accept
the evidence of consciousness that he had indeed just
heard such things from Emily’s lips; it was
too monstrous for belief; a resolute incredulity sustained
him beneath a blow which, could he have felt it to
be meant in very earnest, would have deprived him
of his senses. She did no!, she could not, know
what she had said! Yet she spoke with such cruel
appearance of reasoning earnestness; was it possible
for a diseased mind to assume so convincingly the
modes of rational utterance? What conceivable
circumstances could bring her to such a resolution?
Her words, ‘I do not love you,’ made horrible
repetition in his ears; it was as though he had heard
her speak them again and again.
Could they be true?
The question, last outcome of the exercise of his imagination
on the track of that unimaginable cause, brought him
to a standstill, physically and mentally. Those
words had at first scarcely engaged his thought; it
was her request to be released that seriously concerned
him; that falsehood had been added as a desperate
means of gaining her end. Yet now, all other
explanations in vain exhausted, perforce he gave heed
to that hideous chime of memory. It was not her
father’s death that caused her illness that
she admitted, Had some horrible complication intervened,
some incredible change come upon her, since he left
England? He shook off this suggestion as blasphemy.
Emily? His high-souled Emily, upon whose faith
he would stake the breath of his life? Was his
own reason failing him?
Worn out, he reached the house in the middle of the
afternoon, and went to his own sitting-room.
Presently a servant came and asked whether he would
take luncheon. He declined. Lying on the
sofa, he still tormented himself with doubt whether
he might speak with Mrs. Baxendale. That lady
put an end to his hesitation by herself coming to his
room. He sprang up.
‘Don’t move, don’t move!’
she exclaimed in her cheery way. ’I have
only come to ask why you resolve to starve yourself.
You can’t have had lunch anywhere?’
‘No; I am not hungry.’
‘A headache?’ she asked, looking at him
with kind shrewdness.
‘A little, perhaps.’
‘Then at all events you will have tea.
May I ask them to bring it here?’
She went away, and, a few minutes after her return,
tea was brought.
‘You found Emily looking sadly, I’m afraid?’
she said, with one of the provincialisms which occasionally
marked her language.