‘Nothing—don’t be frightened. But I wanted to see you tonight.’
She gripped his hand.
’How long have you waited? What! Hours? But this is downright madness—such a night as this! Couldn’t you put a note for me in the letter-box?’
‘Don’t—don’t speak so! I wanted to see you.’ She hurried her words, as if afraid he would refuse to listen. ’I have told Mary— I wanted you to know—’
’Come in. But there’s no fire, and you’re chilled through. Do you want to be ill? What outrageous silliness!’
Her vitality was indeed at a low ebb, and reproaches made her weep. Tarrant half carried her up to his room, made a light, and fell to his knees at fire-building.
‘Let me do it,’ Nancy exclaimed. ‘Let me wait upon you—’
’If you don’t sit still and keep quiet, you’ll make me angry in earnest.’
‘Then you’re not really angry with me? I couldn’t help it.’
‘No, I’m afraid you couldn’t,’ Tarrant muttered cheerlessly.
’I wanted to tell you that Mary will be our friend. She was speechless with astonishment; at first I didn’t know what she would say; she looked at me as she had never looked before—as if she were the mistress, and I the servant. But see what I have come to; all I felt was a dread lest she should think it her duty to cast me off. I haven’t a bit of pride left. I could have fallen on my knees before her; I almost did. But she was very good and kind and gentle at last. She’ll do everything she can for me.’
The fire in a blaze, Tarrant stood up and regarded it gloomily.
‘Well, did she think it possible?’ he asked at length.
’Yes, she did. She said it would be very difficult, but the secret might be kept—if I were strong enough. And I am strong enough —I will be—’
‘It doesn’t look like it,’ said Tarrant, taking the edge off his words with a smile.
‘I won’t come again in this way. Where have you been tonight?’
‘Oh, with friends.’
‘Which friends? where?’
He moved impatiently.
’People you don’t know, Nancy, and wouldn’t care about if you did. Do you know what time it is?’
’Do tell me where you have been. It isn’t prying into your affairs. Your friends ought to be mine; at least, I mean, I ought to know their names, and something about them. Suppose I were to tell you I had been spending the evening with friends—’
’My dear girl, I shouldn’t ask a question, unless you invited it. However, it’s better to tell you that I have been making arrangements to sublet these chambers. I can’t afford to keep them, even if there were any use in it. Harvey Munden has introduced me to a man who is likely to relieve me of the burden. I shall warehouse my books and furniture—’
‘Then you are going? Really going to leave England?’
He affected astonishment; in truth, nothing now could surprise him.